■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : With the help of the Internet, students can learn more effectively. |
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▶ Your Answer :
The advent of the Internet has brought an enormous data to people. Among them, educational materials in the Internet have helped for students to learn more effectively. These materials are highly advantageous to students because they can learn without time and space limit, but with repetition as many times (단수/복수) as they want.
To begin with, there is no limit in time and space to access the Internet. Students can easily connect to educational sites and watch useful videos. Moreover, they can watch lectures recorded by famous lecturers, even if they live in any remote places. For example, physics was one of my difficult subjects in high school. In the class, there was less time to ask teachers some unknown concepts. Not only that, there was no way to inquire some questions in late night. At that time, my best friend recommended an educational website - there were an excessive amount of physics lectures. Through these internet courses, I could learn confusing concepts thoroughly and ask unknown things by writing letters in the Q&A board. With the help of the website, I could get higher scores in the final physics exam.
On top of that, educational materials in the Internet are useful for repeated learning. Students can play the important points of academic videos many times. However, in the class, students can easily miss some important topics because of the lack of attention. According to the report conducted by Educational Institute in China, students who learned math with the help of online lectures got much higher grades than students who did not. These students utilized these lectures by catching important notions to solve problems.
In conclusion, students can learn more effectively through the Internet, since they can easily access lectures with repetition. I highly recommend that students fully utilize these sources as the additional teachers. |
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1. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
2. topic은 추천하냐 안 추천하냐를 물어본 것이 아닌 인터넷 러닝이 효율적인가 아닌가를 물어본 것입니다.
질문에 대한 답이 핀트가 약간 빗겨나간 것 같습니다.
마무리를 철저하게 질문에 맞춰서 해주세요.
3. 전치사 for의 용법을 꼼꼼하게 살펴주세요.
4. 두 번째 body paragraph의 supporting details이 많이 부족한 느낌이 있습니다.
문장을 더 추가해주세요~!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*