▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether the most important things to success life is improving on highly knowledge and ability to adapt to circumstances succeed is to improve knowledge and ability to adopt certain circumstances. This is an intriguing question that opinions concerning this issue can be different depending individual perspectives as there is different opinion depending on the individual perspective. In my opinions, however, I support that the most important things to success life is having ability to adapt to circumstances for the following reasons succeed is to have ability to adapt to circumstances for the following two subsequent reasons. . First of all, it is not enough to success life that improve on highly knowledge high knowledge is not enough. To be specific, having only a deep knowledge enables people to not be flexible, which as a result allows people to not solve their diverse problems and dependent on others not to become flexible. As modern society is becoming has become globalized, today’s world requires people with flexible flexibility. Thus, even although even though people have huge knowledge, if they cannot adjust their circumstance, that is unnecessary it is not necessary. For example, when I worked in dental hospital, I have felt this problem. My co-worker had a lot of knowledge about her field, but she could not adjust her work. This was because she She (this is because는 적절하지 않는 표현 입니다) could never adapt her knowledge to her work circumstances. Unfortunately, she quit her job. Through this experience, I realized that improving on only deep knowledge is unnecessary for people to success life succeed in life.
Second, having the ability to adapt to circumstances is a very vital role in a successful life. To be specific, adjusting to diverse circumstance enables people to broaden their perspectives, which as a result allows people to better understand other social life, culture, and individual perspectives. Broadened perspectives is are (perspectives는 복수 주어 입니다) necessary for people to success life. to succeed in life. People can do this better by improving on ability to adapt to various circumstances. For example, Steve jobs, who is the founder of Apple, made a great accomplishment. I read online that he was globalized and culturally sensitive. He did this by improving the ability to adjust to various circumstances. Therefore, this shows that having the ability to adapt to circumstance is more beneficial than improve on high knowledge.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that improving on the ability to adjust to diverse circumstances has many advantages. All things consider, it is my belief that my argument has been efficiently and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
점수: 22 일단 두 번째 단락이 문제가 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 가장 크게 나타나는 문제점은 예시가 주제를 벗어났습니다. 예시 자체가 주제와 전혀 연관성이 없습니다. 연관성이 없을 뿐만 아니라 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겠습니다. 또한 전체적으로 문법적인 부분이 나타납니다. Succeess의 동사는 succeed입니다 숙지하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |