▶ Your Answer :
It is of great worth to discuss what has
the greatest impact on people’s choices when they attempt to buy something. The
answer to this can vary depending on each individual’s stance. From my
perspective, reviews from online communities are the most powerful leverage
when people consider a major purchase for the following two subsequent reasons.
First
of all, reviews from online communities are the easiest way for people to
access information. In these days, as innovative IT devices such as Smart-phones
or I-Pads were generalized to people, it is much comfortable for people to
gather information by these devices without spending a huge amount of time or
money without investing a huge amount of time or money. For example, a research implemented by an IT institute, one of the most
renowned research centers in America, two of three respondents had experience
of searching products’ reviews before buying products for their careful
consideration has used reviews before buying a product. The same study also noted that eighty-six percent of the group
who answered had experience had considered not to buy objects that had many
negative feedbacks even they had positive thinking in their mind decided not to buy the products which have negative feedback. As the
research indicates, powerful reviews from online communities impact on people’s
choices largely.(예시가 주제와 무슨 연관성이 있는지 모르겟습니다)
On
top of that, reviews from online communities allow people to judge products with
a vary range of information that create simultaneously. As the trend of its
days shows, many people enjoy uploading their thinking or afterword of products
online, therefore, potential purchasers expose to a wide range of information
about their potential purchases. For example, there are some specific groups
called ‘active bloggers’ whom have great powers on online and influence many
people to follow their actions. Therefore, as many positive feedback (feedback은 셀 수 없는 명사 입니다) from
well-known bloggers are being existed exist, then people are usually predisposed to consider
major purchases as their bloggers did people prefer not to buy the product. Like this, a bunch of information that
provided by online at the same time affects potential purchasers’ mind
seriously.
To
conclude, I think comments that derived from online are the most significant
factors that influence people’s choices. This is because that achieving
information Achieving information (this is because는 적절하지 않는 표현 입니다) from cyber communities is the easiest one rather than recognizing
recommendation from friends, celebrities, or magazines for modern people and it
allows potential consumers to consider products with a vary range of
information that create simultaneously.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이가 가지고 있는 문제점은, 첫 번째 단락 같은 경우에 있어서는 예시가 주제랑 이유와 무슨 관련성이 있는지 모르겟습니다. 관련성 자체가 없다 보니 예시의 중요성이 무엇인지 파악하기가 어려웠습니다. 또한 전체적으로 어색한 표현들이 많기 때문에 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |