Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn.
An ongoing debate at the ministry of education that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn is being issued currently. Some people believe that this will endow passion for teachers and fill up the classroom with enthusiasm. However, the chances that this new regulation will bring negative effect are more apparent.(It is apprarent that this new regulation will bring more negative effects.) The factors contributed are the limitation of teachers’ influence on students and students’ mental health.
First of all, the factors that affect students’ grade are not only the teachers.(Teachers are not the only one factor affecting students' grades.) The other factors affecting students' grade include family matter, poverty, and mental disorder. Students suffering from their personal problems cannot possibly concentrate on their studies. Teachers only desiring more income will force students to raise their marks,( not considering student’s poor circumstances)(without any consideration of students' circumstances or personal problems). Even though teachers acknowledge the fact that students are situated in the surrounding that interferes with their studies, they teachers will soon realise that these factors cannot be controlled or changed by them. Also, if they only focus on students who are excellent and outstanding, students who have mental disorder will be naturally left out who actually need more care and deliberate attention.
음 뭐랄까요; 연관성없는 문장들이 붙어있다랄까요;; 그리고 이문단이랑 토픽이랑
관련이 어떻게 있는걸까요..
Moreover, extremely competitive atmosphere can be formed. Students will have fewer opportunities of to get community services, counseling, and lessons of morality and ethics which are necessary for growing generation to build good character and become mature. This is because they are filled with confusion and anxiety in between the state of puberty and adolescence. This competitive atmosphere will only generate more stress and pressure on students. Also, it will put teachers under endless greed to the point that they can forget their basic role: leading students to brighter future not slowly suffocating them.
In conclusion, if the ministry of education wants a win-win result, they must not introduce this regulation to public. Teachers must center their goals as teaching students the right thing and abandon the thoughts of using students as a way of becoming rich.
음.. 에세이따라 읽어가기가 어렵네요..ㅠ
생각을 정리해서, 항상 한문장, 문단쓸때마다 토픽을 생각하면서
쓰시면 좋을 것 같네요 ^^ |