2년만에 보는 토플시험(9/12..얼마안남았닷>.<) 대비해서 써본 두번째 토픽...9분 초과해서 쓰긴 했는데요, 글 내용이나 flow, vocab 등등 어떤지 봐주시면 감사하겠습니당...이와 더불어 제 닉네임 kisi를 검색하시면 며칠 전에 쓴 다른 글이 있거든요..
In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.
Some people enjoy their life playing sports or doing activities what they like, while others gather around and smoke together. Some of the smokers feel relieved and happy when they smoke, and other smokers think they look like strong men when they smoke. However, public places and office buildings should not permit smoking although it creates satisfying feelings to individual smokers for the following reasons.
First of all, allowing people to smoke in public areas makes non smokers feel uncomfortable. Usually people get to public areas to enjoy their daily life. For example, men want to go to baseball stadium with their girlfriends to spend time together. Also, women want to see ballet or plays with their boyfriends. By going these public places together, they feel happy. However, if there are some smokers in the baseball stadium or ballet theater, the lovers will not be fully satisfied due to smoke. This is not the problem limited to lovers. Most people will feed unsatisfied at public places when they smell smoke. This is why people should not be allowed to smoke in public places.
In addition, banning smoking in office building improves officers’ life. Most officers smoke to relieve their stress from their supervisors. It is easy to make mistake that when they are banned to smoke, the officers cannot relieve stress, and it leads to worse productivity. However, when they cannot smoke in the office buildings, they will find other possible ways to relieve their stress. For example, they may start going to gym and exercise. This is for sure good for their health. Also, if they exercise with their colleagues, then they can also enhance their social network. Likewise, not allowing smoking in office buildings creates positive results.
In conclusion, not allowing smoking in public areas and office buildings is not a bad rule at all. Without smoke, most people feel happy in public areas, and officers improve their health and social network. Addicted smokers may complain about this rule, but for the more people’s happiness, this rule should be observed.
ps. 아 그리고 통합형 writing을 대비해보고싶은데 교재도 없고 해서요...이제 와서 사기도 그렇고...모의고사 가지고 계신분 있으시면 nohks21c@hanmail.net으로 보내주시면....염치없지만 정말 감사하겠습니당..^^