■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : It is a waste of time to play computer games. | |
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There is a controversial issue concerning whether playing computer games is a waste of time. People, especially students, often argue that playing computer games help foster their intellectual abilities. Regarding this issue, however, I strongly believe that computer games are harmful to people because playing computer games are not as helpful to improve personal competitiveness as other activities, such as studying, exercising, or reading books, and because excessively enjoying computer games may jeopardize people’s health
First of all, computer games prevent people from investing their time to other valuable purposes. In other words, many people usually spend their valuable time to play computer games, the moment which would otherwise be used for many constructive activities. For example, to get a decent job, one should get a higher grade from their classes, construct a wider social network, and have enough language skills. Playing games does not help accomplish any of these. When I was an university student, I have got stuck to a computer game. At that time, I got quite disappointing grades from my classes at the end of the semester, being a big trouble to get a job.
Also, playing computer games is harmful to people’s health. Staring a monitor screen for long time may hurt functions of eyes. Sticking to a chair in an inconvenient position may injure body balance and backbone system. There are so many examples that illustrate harmful effect of computer games. To introduce one of them, we sometimes encounter sad news that tells about the story of a man who fell down after playing computer games during tens of hours without any rest.
Taking all of these things into account, playing computer games is a hazardous hobby for people in that it keeps people from turn their face away from other helpful activities, and that it may cause various health problems. | |
날카로운 지적 부탁 드리겠습니다.
분량, 어휘, 문법, 표현, 논리 등등 모든 것이 아직 부족하게 느껴지네요.
경험이 많으신 분은 이정도 에세이가 보통 어느 점수대에 해당하는지도 알려주시면 감사하겠습니다 =)