▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that students should take difficult lecture at university although they could not have top grades. However, I completely disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. To begin with, these days, school marks are very important factor to get a job. Since there are too many students competing for jobs, they should not miss a single thing for their qualifications. If they got a low grade, it could be a big defect on their resume. It can be illustrated by a survey written by CEOs. It shows that a lot of employs and CEOs consider just how high their marks are, not what classes they took. What they really consider is the high grades. On top of that, too challenging lectures are not helpful for students difficult lectures are not helpful to students. This is because it Such classes (this is because는 적절치 않는 표현 입니다) would be hard for them to understand and apply to their life. They cannot broaden their viewpoints towards the world and catch up the depth of thoughts in the lecture. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. When For example, when (let me bring up~같은 표현은 구어체 이기 때문에 적절하지가 않습니다) I was university student, I wanted to take a philosophy class because it looks so cool to me. However, it was so profound to me to grasp at all. Finally, I not only got worst score, but also cannot make it useful for my life.
In conclusion, the idea is not good because students have to get high grades, and too difficult classes are not practical for students life. In this regard, I personally disagree with the statement that it is better to take most challenging classes in university even if students cannot get top grades in them.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이는 전체적인 각 단락의 내용으로 보았을 때 빈약함이 많이 보여지는 거 같습니다. 빈약함이 많이 보여지는 가장 큰 이유는 이유에 대한 구체적설명이 많이 부족합니다. 이유에 대한 구체적 설명이 많이 부족하다 보니 각 단락을 통해서 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겟습니다. 따라서 좀 더 구체적으로 본인의 주장을 전달하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|