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Some people think that people should watch movies made in their own country. However, I believe that it is more important for people to watch movies made in various countries. This is because people can broaden their perspective through
To begin with, it is important than ever before to appreciate different cultural values because we live in the global society. To respond to globalization, a person’s ability of understanding different cultures is necessary to one person’s success. With this understanding, watching movies filmed in other countries is one of the good ways for people to absorb
On the top of that, watching foreign movies helps people learn foreign languages easily. In the modern society, many companies want to work with people who have a second language.
To sum up, I firmly believe that people should watch other countries’ movies. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated by the reason that I have mentioned above. |
Comment :
문화적 소양과 언어 능력을 근거로 주장을 제시하는 것은 좋은 전략인 것 같아요. 각 본론에서 설명 내용을 더 보완해서 '왜, 어떻게' 시야가 넓어지고 언어능력이 향상되는지에 초점을 맞춰주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 어색한 단어 사용이나 구두점 오류도 줄일 수 있도록 더 신경써주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5
An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following :
- Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details
(일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함)
- Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
(문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남)
- May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning
(문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음)
- May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary
(답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)