▶ Your Answer : There is a famous Korean proverb:.” "If there are many people, it is trustworthy for that side." My brother always says that online communities are have the people who experience the most. He often uses the program recommended by the online communities. He wants to the emphasize the importance of the online system. My point is that online communities are the best advisors for the following two reasons. 나의 view를 묻는 문제에서 동생 이야기로 주장을 이끌어가는 것은 불필요합니다. 내 생각을 제시해주세요. To begin with, people can get a lot of knowledge from online communities. Most people use the Internet, not from magazines. As there are really many people, those who try to see reviews usually exploit online to see people’s opinions online. Looking at those people, it can induce that online communities are well-believed by many people. 'major purchase'에 가장 큰 영향을 미치는 것에 대한 질문인데 구매와는 아무런 관련이 없는 설명이 제시되어 있습니다. 온라인 리뷰가 구매에 가장 큰 영향을 미친다고 보는 이유를 제시해주세요. For example, my cousin is very adapted to using the Internet. He usually uses online for the half of a the day watching the certain sites that can give fun to him. Though some may think that there are too many unnamed people who give unreliable untrue information, it is said that online communities can give the right and perfect advice sometimes. Thus, online communities who which have a lot of information are the best for giving advice for solving the certain problem. 문제 해결에 좋은 조언을 주는 것은 주제와 아무런 관련이 없는 내용입니다. Furthermore, online communities are trustworthy recently. As the government knows that some try to make fun of the questioners by giving completely wrong information, people who try to review should login and join in the certain app group and settings. Thanks to the country, there is no risk of untrue fake reviews as they already enjoyed app. It is certain that their reviews are perfectly based on their experience. For example, when I was young, I also tried to make fun of questioners by saying bad words. However, I feel ashamed looking back about on my past behaviors. Whenever I tried to review something, I could not enter because I had to access online sites through the complicated process. Hence, online communities are trustworthy, which means that it okay with online communities are as advisers. 마찬가지로 온라인 커뮤니티가 얼마나 신뢰도가 있는지를 설명하는 것은 주제와 아무런 관련이 없습니다. 사람들의 구매에 영향력의 정도가 가장 크다고 보는 이유를 제시해야 합니다. In conclusion, possessing knowledge and being trustworthy is the reasons why I believe that online communities are thought to have the greatest impact on people’s choices.
Comment : 주제가 묻는 내용과 관련 없는 답변이기 때문에 감점요인이 클 것으로 보입니다. 주제가 묻는 내용을 다시 점검해보시고 논점에 맞는 주장으로 글을 재구성해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법오류가 많은 편이니 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 2/5 An essay at this level may reveal one or more of the following weaknesses :
- Limited development in response to the topic and task (문제의 요구사항에 정확한 답변을 하지 못한 경우) - Inadequate organization or connection of ideas (연결이나 구성이 부적절한 경우) - Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task (설명이나 예시, 세부사항이 필자의 주장을 뒷받침하기에 부족하거나 부적절한 경우) - A noticeably inappropriate choice of words or word forms (부적절한 단어 또는 형태의 사용)
- An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage (두드러지는 문장구조/사용 상의 오류)
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