▶ Your Answer :
Advertisements are everywhere
nowadays. According to the statistics, people in a big city watch more
than a hundred advertisements per single day on average, and these
advertisements greatly affect our consuming habits. I assert that advertising
has overall negative effect: they encourages us to buy things that are is not necessary because people throw away
their usable old products to buy new one and advertisements often contains
false information that disrupts our reasonable decision when buying new products.
First, lots of people buy new
products after watching advertisement even
though the old product is still usable. Smart phone advertisement is a
good example. Smart phone companies like SAMSUNG,
or Apple aggressively advertises their new model, to make consumers think
the old model is now obsolete and outdated. As a
consequence, consumers change their smart phones into new one every
two years on average, not because their smart phones are broken, but mostly
because they are attracted by brand-new products on the advertisements.
Although the new smart phone is better than the old, it is inappropriate
to say that the new model was indeed necessary. Not only smart phones, but many
other old products are thrown away by similar way. As a consequence, instead
of buying things what we actually need, we are discarding what we
have to buy new products.
Second, advertisements nowadays
mislead the consumer to the wrong decision. New products might improve our
lives, but their advertisements often do the opposite. Advertisements
nowadays do not provide objective, correct information about the products,
rather they exaggerate the product's functionality and give the wrong idea to
the consumers. For example, every cosmetic advertisement asserts their new
product will definitely make your face in a better shape, which is
not possible. In addition, to allure consumers effectively, beautiful
celebrities appear and make a positive comment about the product. However,
doctors recommend that actually see the ingredients first before you buy
cosmetics because the effectiveness of the cosmetic depends on the compatibility
of the ingredient and your skin. Without careful comparison and deliberation,
it is very likely that you will buy products which is not good for your skin,
which can actually do more bad than good.
In
conclusion, I believe that advertisements nowadays encourages us to buy
things we do not need because many people throw away their old products even
though it is still usable and advertisements contains exaggeration or
falsehood that guides consumer to the wrong decision. Thus, we should be highly
critical toward the advertisements surrounding us not to make wrong
decisions when buying new products.
Good (26–30)
서론 -단/복수 수 일치. things이므로 is-->are
결론 -단/복수 수 일치. advertisements 복수이므로 encourages-->encourage 주장/이유 괜찮고 예시도 괜찮습니다. 어휘와 문장력도 괜찮습니다. 언급된 부분들만 유의해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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