When people
work on many things at one time, they can cultivate many qualities needed for the
future. Multitasking skill requires them managing time management, fast decision, as well
as comprehensive sight. When such qualities are developed, it is likely to
bring a better result at work. For example, many research teams, including the
university of Kyoto, have analyzed data from two groups of workers in a trading
company. One group consisted of those who have worked many things at the same
time and the other group was made up of those who have concentrated on one
thing at all time. Trading company tended to something happened accidentally.
The researchers found that the former was likely to have a higher payment than
the latter. In particular, the first group showed a longer attention span,
meeting deadline as well as higher efficiency in their tasks. On the other
hand, the second group tended to get distracted easily, break breaking deadline, as
well as show lower efficiency in their tasks. This implies that working on many
things at the same time is key to success professionally. Without this, one
would fall behind.
All
things considered, the advantages of multitasking far weigh weight those of
concentrating one thing at one time for the reasons as I have mentioned above. The
importance of multitasking cannot be overestimated in life.
Comment :
모델에세이를 주제에 맞게 잘 활용하신 것 같아요. 내용을 활용할 때 연결이 어색할 수 있는 부분들이나 주제에 맞지 않는 표현들을 다듬는 데 신경쓰면서 여러 주제로 연습해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following :
- Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated
(문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함)
- Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
(문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남)
- Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections
(중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남)
- Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning
(글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)