▶ Your Answer :
Some people may say that if parents wish to see their children succeed in
life, they should not set strict rules for them. However, I have a different
idea. I think parents need to create rules for children in order to make them
succeed in their life.
To begin with, parents should
make rules for children when if they want
to see their children survive in today’s
competitive society because these rules can help children to apply the learned skills in other
fields such as school, society and job. To be
specific, creating some rules can make children feel that they should comply
with other fields too. For example, when I was a
child, I had chance to participate in a soccer
club. I went to this club three times a week. By playing soccer with others, I
was able to learn soccer rules. Also, in order to win the game, I needed to
follow the rules. If I did not comply to the
rules, our team would receive a bad effect. So,
I always tried to maintain fair play. Eventually, when I entered school,
because I had a mind to follow the school rules, I was known for as an excellent student among students. At that time,
I felt that it is important to keep rules wherever I went to.
Second, parents need to set
severe rules for children if they wish to watch the children succeed in their
field since strict rules prevent children from doing bad actions. In other
words, thanks to harsh rules, wrong actions would be reduced because children
would ponder when they take an action. For
instance, there is a result supporting this argument. Korea National University
conducted a study about children who receive
were set strict rules by their parents'
rules. The research teams demonstrated that when children act abide by rules, they could receive good grades from school. They concluded that it is very
beneficial for parents to make strict rules for children.
To sum up, in order to
make children to succeed in their fields,
parents have to create strict rules because this these rules' effect can lead to other fields
such as school and career and children can receive good grades from school. Therefore, I strongly agree with the
statement above.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
23 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트를 잘 잡고 예시가 좋습니다.
다만 흐름이 조금 아쉽고 문법 오류가 잦아서 감점을 드렸어요. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
|
|