▶ Your Answer : The reading passage argues that there are several
concerns when discussing nuclear power as a potential source of energy. However, the lecturer claims that nuclear energy can be the
most realistic means of generating energy.
First, the lecturer mentions that there
would not be any threat of overheating with the use of properly
designed reactors. To be specific, by using a reactor that automatically
slows down when heated, there would not be any overheating and emission of hazardous chemicals. This counterattacks
the reading’s claim that nuclear energy raises many health concerns as nuclear power plants may release harmful chemicals. 위험한 화학물질에 대한 언급을 했으니 단순히 lecture에서 overheating만을 언급하면 내용이 연결되지 않습니다. 화학물질의 원인이 되는 overheating을 제어할 수 있는 reactor를 사용하면 문제되지 않는다, 정도로 좀 더 연관성이 드러나는 요약이 필요합니다. 문장이 필요 이상으로 길어지는 부분들도 정돈해주세요.
Secondly, the lecturer points out that
uranium is cheap. This means that if the initial cost of building the plant is
paid, in the long term, a nuclear power plant is much cheaper than other plants
using coal or oil as fuel. This rebuts the reading’s point that nuclear plants
are very costly. expensive.
Lastly, the lecturer asserts that wind
energy is not a reliable source of energy. To be specific, the intensity of the
wind is varying, so there is a need of steady source of
energy, like nuclear power. This casts doubt on the reading’s assertion
that cheaper and better sources of energy creation, such as wind energy,
already exist.
Comment : 전체적으로 핵심이 되는 내용들을 잘 정리해주신 것 같아요. 통합형은 지문 내용을 정확히 모르고 체크해서 정확한 내용 정정은 어려우니 실제 지문을 다시 검토하셔서 내용은 점검해주시는 게 좋을 것 같아요. 잘 쓴 답안은 지문 내용을 모르고 보더라도 맥락이 잘 연결되기 때문에 그렇게 근거를 두고 체크하고 있으니 참고해주세요~ 현재 답안 상으로는 앞에 코멘트해놓은 어색한 정리내용 부분만 간단히 다듬어주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 4.5/5
A response at this level is generally good in selecting the important information from the lecture and in coherently and accurately presenting this information in relation to the relevant information in the reading, but it may have minor omission, inaccuracy, vagueness, or imprecision of some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading. A response is also scored at this level if it has more frequent or noticeable minor language errors, as long as such usage and grammatical structures do not result in anything more than an occasional lapse of clarity or in the connection of ideas. |