▶ Your Answer :
It is controversial over The lecture and the reading discuss whether the policy policies
called prescribed burns is are allowed or not. In the lecture, the speaker asserts
the claims suggested in the reading are groundless. This casts doubts on the
reading passage’s point that there is mounting evidence that the policy policies is harmful by providing three subsequent compelling rebuttals.
To begin with, the lecturer states that few wild animals are wildlife were few killed by prescribed burns. That is, they are enough fast enough to escape the fire
easily. In addition, according to the yellow national park, a region’s wildlife they can easily find new home because of enormous area of the park. This is
contradictory to the reading’s claim that many animals would die be dead while competing for a finite supply of food. 주제인 prescribed burns와 아무런 관련이 없어 보입니다. lecture가 이야기하는 '도망치지 못해서 죽게 된다'라는 내용과도 관련성이 없어 보이는데, 지문 내용 다시 확인해보시면 좋을 것 같아요.
On top of that, the speaker also maintains that
Iit would not be a problem because only the small amount of forest would be burned. What this
means is that prescribed burns will bring about less amount of smoke than huge
firewood. 연기가 적다, 라는 주장이 아니라 air pollution이 심하지 않다는 주장을 제시해야 하므로 반박 주장을 먼저 명료하게 정리하고 면적이 적기 때문에 그만큼 큰 매연이 나오지 않는다, 하는 식의 근거를 연결하는 편이 더 좋을 것 같습니다. This view is in direct opposition to the reading passage’s assertion
that prescribed burns produce large amount of air pollution in the form of
smoke from burning trees and other vegetation.
Lastly, the lecturer contends that people
would not be out of control over prescribed burns. This is why many
forestry officials carefully monitor for the fire not to be spread in the region that they want to preserve.
This refutes the reading’s insistence that forestry officials themselves might be inadvertently the cause of widespread destruction in some forested area, considering
that prescribed burns have gotten out of control and transformed into major
forest fires. 핵심 내용만 남겨서 요약할 수 있도록 불필요한 표현을 덜고 더 간단하게 줄여주세요.
Comment : 두 지문이 어떤 내용을 중심으로 대립하고 있는지가 더 잘 드러나게끔 요약문의 흐름을 잡아주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 지문 내용과 대조하면서 불필요한 표현들을 정리하고 꼭 필요한 핵심 내용만을 남겨서 다듬는 작업이 더 필요할 것 같습니다. 어색한 표현이나 문법오류도 꼼꼼하게 봐주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 A response at this level contains some important information from the lecture and conveys some relevant connection to the reading, but it is marked by one or more of the following : - Although the overall response is definitely oriented to the task, it conveys only vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading. - The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture. - Some key points made in the lecture or the reading, or connections between the two, may be incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise. - Errors of usage and/or grammar may be more frequent or may result in noticeably vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections.
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