■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Dancing plays an important role in a
culture. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that dancing does not
play an important role in a culture. However, I believe that dancing plays an
important role in a culture for two reasons. This is because dancing shows
everyday life and unique characteristics of people in a culture.
First, dancing shows everyday life of people
in a culture. Understanding the daily environment of people in the past is
necessary to substantiate this view. Every morning, people had to patiently go to work in a farm and spend more than 12 hours a day to plant vegetables (단복수). Once they got
back home, they had to do countless chores. Such exhausting routine (단복수) repeated
itself and eventually wore people down. (wear down, pick up과 같이 같은 뜻이지만 단어가 두개인 경우에는 뒤에 올 말을 중간에 넣어주시는 게 자연스럽습니다. Ex. Don't let me down. You raise me up.) As a way to manage the ensuing stress,
people could dance with their partners. For this reason, a lot of different
types of dancing were formed, reflecting people's minds and emotions.
Therefore, dancing has absorbed our ancestor's sentiment for many years. In
this regard, dancing shows everyday life of people in a culture. (Excellent argument! Maybe add something like Therefore it is important~ so it doesn't go off topic?)
Second, dancing shows unique
characteristics of people in a culture. In response to the increasing role of
dancing, many expert opinions and research statistics reinforce the idea that dancing
shows unique characteristics of people in a culture. For instance, all
different cultures have their own dancing styles. Researchers stated that this
is because dancing styles have been formed with people's attitudes toward how they accept dancing as their daily lives. In Korea's case, people like to
be active and positive. As a result, they have their own dancing style in which people use a large
area to dance, and the dancing music mostly goes on very fast beats. In this
regard, dancing show unique characteristics of people in a culture.
To sum up, I believe that dancing plays an
important role in a culture for the following reasons: to show everyday life and unique characteristics of people in a culture. Consequently, the importance
of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned. |
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점수: 27/30
두번째 para가 첫번째와 약간 비슷한 감이 있습니다.
완전히 다른 방향의 reason을 찾으시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
문법 오류는 수정본 참고해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*