■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
|
|
▶ Topic :
People are less happy and satisfied today
than people were in the past
|
|
|
▶ Your Answer :
A substantial number of people argue that
modern people are less happy and satisfied than people were in the past.
However, in my opinion, people living in the modern society have more enjoyable
and satisfactory lives than people had in the past. This is because people are
able to have more diverse activities today than ever before,\ and the developed
science technologies make their lives more comfortable than those of people in the past.
To begin with, there are varied activities
that people can enjoy in the modern society. In the past, the number and the
range of activities were limited, so some people had hard times finding their
aptitude due to limited selection. On the other hand, people today can choose what
he or she really wants to do among a variety of selection. (choice 단어가 더 자연스러울 것 같습니다.) Overall, this makes
people have more enjoyable lives because they can get big achievements while
doing the activities they want. For instance, I was interested in classical music
since I was in elementary school, so I began to learn playing violin in the
middle school. In a year, I became the member of the school orchestra, and I had
chances to perform in the school auditorium with other orchestra members. I had
a really enjoyable time by playing in the orchestra, and it made my life so
much fun. Also, my mother envied me because learning violin was not common back in her generation, and
it was only for rich people when she was young. This implies that a variety of
activities nowadays make people enjoy heir lives more than people in the past.
On top of that, the advanced technologies
help people’s lives so much comfortable than ever before. The rationale behind
this is that the newest technologies provide people more easy and comfortable ways
to achieve their goals. For example, the Internet made modern day life so much
comfortable. People can freely communicate on the Internet regardless of
distance, and they can get whatever information they want within a few mouse
clicks. Also, people can purchase a diversity of products, even fresh vegetables
and meat, without going to the markets. So, people can save a lot of time and
efforts on the strength of Internet. Apart from the modern day people, people
in the past had hard times doing some specific action. My father mentioned that
when he was a college student, he had to go to the college building to register for the
classes because the internet service was not common at that time. So, he had to
get up and move to the college building so early to register for popular classes ahead
of other students, and this made him tired and stressed. As this example
demonstrates, the latest technologies make people's lives more comfortable than those in the
past.
To sum up, modern people can have more varied
activities today than any other period, and the advanced science technologies provide
people with more easy and comfortable lives. In this regard, I strongly believe that people
living in the modern society have more cheerful and satisfactory lives than
people had in the past.
|
|
점수: 26/30
무난히 잘 쓰셨습니다.
문법 오류만 수정하시면 고득점 가능할 것 같습니다.
그리고 첫번째 바디 문단에 왜 액티비티가 더 생겨났는지 (Ex. 빈부격차가 줄어듦, 경제적 능력 상향평준화)
더 구체적으로 써주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.