▶ Your Answer : A friend plays an important role in our daily lives. Some people think that making new friends is more important than getting along with old friends, while others believe that maintaining familiar friends is more significant in our lives. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that keeping old fellows is more essential. There are reasons and examples as follows.
To begin with, being with old friends can alleviate our stress. It is true that meeting new people and getting to know them allow us to broaden our perspectives and motivate us by talking new subject matters that we have never learned about. However, when we want to truly enjoy the moment, would new friends make us feel relaxed and cleared? The answer will be highly doubtful. Unlike new friends, those who are familiar with me can relieve our stress and just enjoy the moment by talking about various things, going to do enjoyable activities and feel more relaxed with just staying being with together in itself. From my experience, when I was in college, I was able to meet different people and get to know them. However, whenever I had difficulty in my personal problem or wanted to get rid of stress, I always came to see headed for my best friends, Jenny and Amy. While spending time with them, I could have a brief moment of relief by talking about our daily routines, cooking and eating delicious food together. If I had not kept a good relationship with my old friends, I would have always suffered from stress and struggled to handle it could not have reduced my stress level. In addition, an old friend is considerably helpful when we are in trouble. As you know, we never know when something might come up. To be specific, when we need to ask someone for help, we can call those who are familiar with us me for a long time since they are willing to help any situation. On the other hand, It would not be easy for us to ask people, such as new friends, for help. For example, last month, I planned to go to Paris on a vacation for two weeks. However, I need someone who can take care of my dog during the for my trip so I immediately call one of my old fellow, Suzie, and she granted my favor at once, Thanks to her, I was able to enjoy my travel without any concern. While I travel, She took care of my dog at my home by taking pictures that she fed and played with her and sending those picture whenever I want. In this sense, Keeping old fellows is significantly crucial in diverse emergencies.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that maintaining old friends is more important than making new ones. The reason is that we can relax and clear the mind and ask for help when we need someone's help.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-19 | - old friends의 좋은 점으로써 스트레스를 해결해준다는 주장은 문맥상 어울리지 않고, 어떠한 일을 같이 함으로써 스트레스와 고민이 해결이된다는 말이 더 일맥상통하는 부분이 있을 것 같아요.
- 첫 번째 주장에 대한 내용 정정과 personal noun 사용을 피하여 다시 보완하여 주세요.
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