These days, most people cannot live without computer to survive in the information age. Since it is directly connected with internet, we can get lots of beneficial information from computer, but there is still major reason (that) increasing isolated old people around the world. That's why I think that the young much more enjoy their life with computer than the old do.
밑줄부분에서 세계에 고립된 노인 분들이 많다는 이유와 왜 young들이 더 즐기느냐에 연관성이없네요;; but the major reason is that the old have been isolated from computer for a long time. 이런식으로 쓰는게 나을듯 싶네요^^
To begin with, young people are used to meeting friends online and chatting and making their own homepage or blog there. It makes the young people build their social network. Furthermore, by joining some clubs where many people having common interests in some fields are grouped, they can get useful information such as their hobbies, job, test, attending schools so on. To illustrate this example, I'm very concerned about TOEFL test a year ago since I needed to get points over certain grade at the test. While I prepared for TOEFL, I found a club introducing many tips for the test and giving a chance to get together with club members., Finally I get a large of benefits from it.
예시가 좋은 인상을 남길 것 같진 않네요;; 한국과 일본은 ets에서 주로 눈여겨 보고있거든요;; 이런 사이트들이 혹시나 점수에 지장을 줄 것 같아서;; 오히려 이부분에서 노인들이 모이는 방법과 젊은이들이 모이는 방법을 컴퓨터를 사용하는지 안하는지 여부를 가지고 비교해가면서 예시를 써도 될 것 같아요^^
Second, The young can get an education from computer especially by online. ->can be taught online.
Not all students go to school everyday nowadays. Actually most university students can learn by online without going to university in person. It makes students not waste their commuting time to school and give them enough time to invest in other parts such as exercising, relaxing so on. support내용이 너무 부족하네요;; online을 통해서 교육을 받는데 대부분의 대상이 학생들이다. 어른들은 젊은이들에 비해 교육을 위해 컴퓨터를 사용하지 않는다. 그래서 젊은이들이 더 이익을 많이 볼 것이다.
As you already have seen many old people having many difficulties using computer and we need to -> the young should help them enjoy their rest of life with computer. but It is true that computer mostly belongs to the young and it is already involved in their daily life deeply. so It makes them live more abundantly rather than the old. But the most important thing of which we need to remind is that there are also disadvantages using a computer and we should not forget the old having problems using a computer and help them learn it. It must be a best way to let all people live wisely in the information age. |