▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that students will
achieve a higher score on their tests if they are given homework every day.
However, in my opinion, students need some free time to relax and to do
extracurricular activities. They will feel refreshed after having a certain
amount of recess which will eventually enhance their performance in the class
the next day. Besides, participating in a social activity after school is
crucial in developing their self-formation. for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, people tend to get recharged
after some amount of relaxation. This is critical for someone to stay in focus
on their study. I usually study for 5 to 6 hours per day and need to rest after
that to maintain optimal cognitive ability. When I do not have a recess relax after
my study, I could not seem to immerse in my research compared to the formal
circumstance. Also, according According to a study conducted by Seoul National
University, students who had a rest after their study for a good amount of time
has performed 20 percent better on their tests. This indicates that some kind
of hormone is secreted to replenish our brain when one is properly rested.
On top of that, doing extracurricular
activities after school such as playing tennis and making films with peers is
essential in forming healthy self-formation. Self-formation is significant
during school days because it becomes a strength when people take the first
step in the society. For instance, I used to do a lot of extracurricular
activities like learning art, piano, computer and so on and computer. Frankly saying, I did not
like it during that time, but it somehow helped me to form a fine
characteristic. Furthermore, It became a huge advantage for me when I graduated
from a college and entered a company.
To sum up, doing homework every day gets in
the way of students’ academic development and is not beneficial for their good
self-formation. In this regard, I do not support the idea of daily homework
assignments. Good; 24~30 점수: 24 두 번째 단락에서 구조가 잘못 서술된 거 같습니다. 이 에세이의 전체적인 주제는 숙제를 매일매일 하는 것이 좋냐 안좋 냐에 대한 에세이인데. 지금 같은 두 번째 단락은 젼혀 연관성이 없는 거 같습니다. 숙제에 대해서 관련있는 것 도 아니고 전혀 상광이 없는 방과 후 활동에 대한 것만 서술되어있습니다. 따라서 앞으로 에세이를 서술할 때에 좀 더 이유가 주제를 벗어나지 않는 지를 잘 파악하고 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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