▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is better to do more than one projects at the same time than to focus on one project at a time. However, I disagree with the idea for two reasons. First, doing projects one by one it would lead to better results each. Also, it would save overall time.
To begin with, it would be easier to concentrate on each project if the projects they are done independently. To be specific, 'choice and focus' is needed to do projects as each of them needs a significant amount of concentration and efforts to be finished. Doing them altogether might just lead people doing projects to be distracted, which would also affect their results. I would like to give an example of my own to elucidate my points. When I was a high school student, there was were a lot of homework to be done each day. Once, I was assigned two big projects to be done in a week. I had no choice but to do both of them at once. Since there were too much many things to do for each project, I had a very hard time doing them. Even though I made such great efforts for both projects, I got fairly low grades on them as I could not focus on any of those projects. This experience demonstrates that it would be better not to do several projects at a time in order to not to be distracted.
On top of that, doing one project projects one at a time would save overall time. Usually different projects involve different groups of people, appropriate places for projects and needed materials. group project에 국한지어서 제시한 문제가 아니므로 현재 설명은 조금 어색할 수 있어요. 사람이 아니라 프로젝트에 따라 요구되는 장소와 시간, 파트너, 자원들이 각기 다르기 때문에 그렇다는 식으로 포괄적으로 언급하면 더 자연스러울 것 같아요. When doing two or more projects at once, one should be moving places or changing groups of people working together frequently which would lead to the waste of time. Spending this wasted time on doing each of the projects would be more effective. My friend's experience as a freshman in the university might be a good example. My friend was a lab assistant for one of the laboratories in chemistry department having a lot of things to do. Also, as she was a quite diligent student, she joined a lot of other projects held in other departments in the university such as biology department. As there were a lot of tasks works to be done by her in every minute, she always had to move to other labs more than more than 6 times a day. After finishing all the projects, she said that she had to waste too much time moving to other labs, and she regrets regretted doing having done so. Her story illustrates that doing several projects at once may inevitably lead to a waste of time.
To sum up, participating in more than one projects at once would make it us hard for us to focus on each of them and waste time. In this regard, I firmly believe that it is much better and efficient to do one project at a time.
Comment : 두 본론 모두 주제에 맞는 주장을 잘 생각해주셨어요. 본론1의 경우 집중해서 더 나은 퀄리티의 결과물을 낼 수 있다는 것이 문단의 요지이므로 '집중이 더 잘 된다'보다 더 나아가서 '더 나은 결과물을 내준다'라는 주장으로 논리를 풀어도 좋을 것 같습니다. 기본적인 흐름은 잘 잡아주신 것 같아요. 중간중간 표현이 어색한 부분이나 같은 단어 사용이 반복되는 부분들 위주로 글을 더 다듬어보시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections
(중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함) |