▶ Your Answer : There are might be some people who believe
that colleges or universities don't do not help people. However, I disagree with the
above idea for two subsequent reasons. Students can not only get a lot of
information but also enlarge their relationships.
First of all, students can learn many
things in colleges. To explain, students will learn not only specific subjects
but also general subjects, such as ethics, moral and justice. By learning the
subjects, they can be mature adults. The opportunity to be become mature adults and
get many knowledge is only given by universities or colleges. As a result, by
getting many knowledge and being mature adults, students can be helped by the
things in the future, such as getting jobs or working in their own field.
According to a study done by JYP institute of education, a majority of
successful leaders said that they were inspired by learning many subjects in
their universities. This is due to the fact that They can get a lot of
knowledge and broaden their way of thinking by learning the subjects. This
clearly shows that universities provide a lot of subjects.
Second, students can improve their social
skills. This is because they can spend time and have fun with other peoples.
This creates chances for them to have a conversation and exchange thoughts,
which is helpful for creating of sharing a fun experience. Also, they can get
advice from professors or their campus mates. According to a survey done by JYP
institute of education, 80% of the respondents said that attending college helps them to strengthen their social and
communication skills. This is due to the fact that they have to spend time with
other people, which allows them to have a conversation and create memories
together. Moreover, the people can give them advice when then have problems,
and helps them for their classes. This clearly shows that attending university
can help students to strengthen relationships with people.
In conclusion, universities help students
to have a lot of information and friends. In this regard, these are the two reasons of attending
college.
Good: 24~30 점수: 27 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 이 에세이에 있어서 칭찬 하고 싶은 부분이 세 가지가 있습니다. 첫 번째 부분은 구조적인 부분입니다. 이 에세이는 인트로에서는 무엇을 바디에선 무엇을 결론에선 무엇을 서술해야하는 것인지를 잘 아는 에세이입니다. 두 번째 좋은 부분은 논리적으로 잘 서술하엿습니다. 논리적으로 잘 서술했다라는 것을 느 낄 수 있는 것은 각 단락에서의 적절한 예시 사용과 구체적인 설명이 이 에세이를 부각시키는 거 같습니다. 마지막으로는 문법적 오류들이 없습니다. 잘 서술하였습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |