▶ Your Answer :
With the extensive advancement in the modern era, growing number of people put emphasis on leisure time. While some believe there will be more leisure time after 20 years, others hold the opposite viewpoints. Personally, I'm in line with the former, and my reasons are as follows: for the following subsequent reasons.
To begin with, the rapid development of technology has enabled people to work more efficiently than the past, and technological development is accelerating. Considering how technology has freed liberated humanity from tedious and arduous work so far, people in the future will have even shorter working hours and longer leisure time than present. For instance, my uncle who has worked as an engineer for the last 20 years, told me how his job has become much convenient thanks to the improvement and invention of diverse tools. He believes he will use his time more efficiently with better technology in the future, and spend that time on more leisure activities like such as travelling with his family, learning a new instrument or languages.
Another aspect worth mentioning is that, increasing number of people prioritize quality leisure time over success in public sphere such as higher income or outstanding career. And governments around the world has been instituting policies that shorten the working hours and increasing increase the minimal wage for better life qualities of the citizens. A few days ago, the government of South Korea has also announced that weekly official working hours will be decreased from 68 hours to 52 hours and the public is reported to be welcoming to welcome the change. Having more time in the evening, they can have relaxing relax evening with their family or participate in different activities for their self development.
In a nut shell, with the technological development and social reform continue to take place, leisure time will greatly increase in the near future. Never should we forget this matter may have a significance in our lives. Good: 24~30 점수: 25 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 이 에세이에서 칭찬하고 싶은 부분이 두 가지가 있습니다. 일단 첫 번째는 굉장히 간결하게 할 말만 하고 자신의 주장을 각 단락에서 잘 나타내는 거 같습니다. 특히 이러한 부분은 각 단락의 예시에서 잘보여집니다. 적절한 예시 즉 실제 지금 한국에서 일어나는 현상들을 얘기하므로써 좀 더 현실성이있는 에세이였습니다. 두 번째로 좋았던 부분은 아주 논리적입니다. 흐름의 끊기는 것이 없이 굉장히 매끄럽고 논리적이게 서술된 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |