▶ Your Answer : Some people think that parents must have
strict rules to help their children to be successful succeed. However, I believe that
parents do not need to have strict rules to help their children to be successful
for two reasons. This is because having free rules to help helps their children to be
successful enables children to relieve stress and enjoy a better quality of
life. First,
free rules allow children to relieve stress. Understanding the daily environment
of children and the potential role of having free rules is necessary to
substantiate this view. Every morning, children have to patiently sit through
traffic to get to school. Once they are at school, they have to endure
countless textbooks and continue to read more even at home. Such exhausting
routine repeats itself and eventually wears down children. As a way to manage
the ensuing stress, children can have free rules to be successful. Even if it
is only for a short time, this frees their minds from the intense mental
pressure from school. In this regard, having free rules allows children to
relieve stress.
Second, having free rules enables children to enjoy a better quality of
life. In response to the increasing role of free rules, many expert opinions
and research statistics reinforce the idea that having free rules provides meaningful opportunities for children to connect with their friends. If they
had had strict rules, they would not have an open mind. In other words, they
are not able to be successful. Essentially, having free rules promotes activities that encourage children to openly interact with one another. Such
intercommunication builds a platform not only to share similar interests but
also to create lasting memories, allowing children to become more socially
aware and ultimately enjoy a better quality of life.
To sum up, I believe that parents do not need to have strict rules to
help their children to be successful for the following reasons: to relieve
stress and enjoy a better quality of life. Consequently, the importance of my
view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned above. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 전반적으로 문법적 오류들이 많습니다. 특히 ~ing가 주어로 되어 있는 부분에는 동사에서는 단수 형태로 서술하셔야합니다. 이러한 부분에서 오류가 많습니다. 보고 참고하시길 바랍니다. 하지만 이 부분이외에는 전체적으로 이유 설명 예시들이 적절하게 잘 분배되어서 서술 하셨습니다. 문법 적 부분만 참고하시면 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |