▶ Your Answer :
I have lived in Seoul which is a capital of Korea. Therefore, I
strongly recommend Seoul to a foreign traveler who spends one day in my
country. There are two reasons why I recommend here to him of her she, and I will
explain those reasons in my essay.
First of all, there are a lot of things which
people can experience and do in Seoul. In Seoul, about a quarter of a whole population 1/5 of people are living and
it is really magnificent rate. Of course, so many visiting spots and enjoyable
things are created and are developed naturally. , for For example, Hong-dae is the most famous spot
of Seoul and there are a lot of interesting stores, which leads people to have fun time. enter. Indeed,
there is one research conducted by Seoul National University in 2013 which has
shown this phenomenon well. According to this research, in Seoul, there are
more visiting spots almost thirteen times than other cities.
Secondly, people who visit Seoul can play until
late at night even after midnight. This is because, public security of Seoul is
almost at the highest level among the world, and a lot of stores are opening late in
the late night. So people usually can usually keep enjoying without worry after the sun
sets. For example, when I and my friends used to hang out with in Seoul, we come
back home almost after midnight. However, when we went to other cities to
travel, we had to come to our residence before 10 pm because most of the stores closed and
there was were few any people so we felt fear a little.
To
sum up, there are two advantages of traveling for a day in Seoul; people can experience
diverse things and can enjoy until late at night. For these two reasons I
certainly believe that spending one day in Seoul is the best choice to
visitors.
Comment : 문제 요구사항에 맞게 두 가지 이유를 잘 설명해주셨어요. 지금 문제처럼 단순한 문제는 분량과 어휘 부분에서 점수를 많이 노리는 것이 좋아요. 사례를 구체적으로 제시하고, 작성에서도 같은 표현을 반복적으로 사용하기보다는 다양한 단어와 숙어 표현을 활용해서 글의 수준을 높이는 것도 좋은 전략이 될 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |