▶ Your Answer : Whether
eating out or having a meal at home is better controversial in today’s food
age. Nowadays there is a great controversy regarding with eating out or having a meal at home. Some argue that they want to eat out for their convenience. Indeed, as you people
can eat the food that other people made, it would be comfortable to have a meal.
However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that preparing their own food at home
is much better than eating out.
To begin with, eating at home saves money.
Because you have to spend much money in the restaurant, your money would be
decreased as the time flows. The example concerns our family’s real life. A
long time ago, our family usually eats out as we could not cook delicious food.
Due to having a meal in the restaurant, the money got decreased and we begin to have many problems. There was debt my parents had to pay back and they were not
able to pay the maintenance cost on time. (전반적으로 바디가 짧습니다 구체적인 설명아니면 좀더 구체적인 예시가 필요할 거 같아요)
Secondly, preparing your own food at home is
good for one’s ability. There are many people who cannot still cook properly.
One example is that it is not difficult to learn cooking. Cooking does not need
any complicated skill. If you practice cooking by just reading recipes, you
will be accustomed to cooking. (good for one's ability라고 하였는데 그것에대한 설명은 많지 않은 거 같아요 어떠한 점에서 good for one's ability인지 설명이 필요할 거 같습니다)
In
conclusion, I would prefer to have a meal at home following these main two
reasons: eating at home saves money and preparing your own food at home is good
for one’s cooking ability. Fair: 17~23 점수: 20 일단 전반적으로 구체적인 설명과 예시가 빈약 했던 거 같아요. 특히 바디 2 에서는 예시가 본인의 이유를 서포트 하지 않습니다. 앞으로 예시를 들을 때에는 좀 더 이유를 서포트 하는 예시를 서술하시는게 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |