▶ Your Answer : In a continuously developing world particularly with reference to the current global ideal of "Modernized Society", the concept of social change may be identified as perpetuating social pandemic. Social change is an ever-changing phenomenon in social life as people can see in North and South Korea's diplomacy. Hence, the outcome of these efforts of social change may be reflected to be a positive or negative light. The given topic cars have made a greater imx1pact on society than airplanes must also be discussed to find "social balance", but can come out to be positive or negative. Through objective speculation, I decided to agree with the topic for two reasons. First, it is the best way to save time. Second, It is a good way to save money. To begin with, driving a car has been the best way to save time. There is an old saying "Time is gold", this proverb emphsizes on the value of the time. Also, this cannot be more true in modern society. People have been living a busy and hectic life, so saving time means we can do a lot more later. For example, using the airplanes takes too much time including to go to the airport, check-in, pass the immigration, board to the airplane and so on. However, people always can use car when they commute to work or shcool. Also when they go travel to the somewhere far away , they can use a car easily. I can drive a car whenever and wherever I want without wasting time in the chek-in line in the airport. This example clearly illustrate that using car is the best way to save time. In addition, Using a car is the best way to save money. when it comes thorough spending money, every penny counts. A thrifty spending habit is indispensable in modern society, because the little drop of water can make the mighty ocean. If we do not get used to spending money on a tight budget, we will away short on a cash later. A penny-pinching life will lead to financial stability and it will give us peace of mind. For instance, when i was in college, I lived in studio over 4 years. However, I had to move every year because of problem in rental conditions. Therefore whenever I move home to other home every year, I used my car . It was very cheap and east way to move home. If I have not a car, I could have spended a lot of money on a moving company.It has such a huge influence on me that I beilieve that using car is the best way to save money. To sum up, using car have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. I think it is the best way to save and a good way to save money.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 철자적 오류가 가장 크게 보입니다. 철자적 오류를 피하기 위해서는 에세이를 다 서술하고 난 후 에 꼭 proofreading을 하시길 바랍니다. Proofreading을 하다 보면 자신이 어느 부분에서 문법적인 오류를 범했는지 알 수 있습니다. 또한 이 에세이는 너무 장황합니다. 특히 이러한 장황한 모습은 인트로에서 가장 크게 보입니다. 너무 장황하게 서술해서 본질을 흐리는 것 보다는 간결하게 본인의 의견을 전달하는 것이 가장 좋을 거 같습니다. 이 부분을 숙지 하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |