Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to be a leader of a group than to be a member of the group. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. |
A leader can be described as a captain of the ship. The success of the cruise is determined by the captain strongly, which means that role of the captain is very important. So many people feel pressed and hesitate to become a leader. However, I strongly believe that being a leader is a great idea because it can be a good chance to have a(you don't need an article here) confidence in one’s life and it offers many opportunities to develop such skills.(REALLY GOOD i think.) First of all, being a leader makes people to develop in a spiritual aspect. ---> being a leader develops one's character. When someone became(let's use present tense.becomes) a leader, he can have confidence in his life and also(you don't need also here) build responsibility. I can give example of my sister. When she was young, ----> For example, when my sister was young,
she was very shy girl. She always avoided doing something in front of the people and also she often missed what she had to. By chance she was elected as a leader of her class. Since then she changed his characteristics. ----> 1. since then, I see a big change in my sister's personality 2. since then, she start to develop good characteristics in her personality.
She now has confidence in her life, no longer reluctant to being in front of people and also(nope!) don’t(do not/it's an essay. be professional) forget what she has to do. It is true that being a leader can be a pressure to someone, but it also can be a good experience( i think there is a better way to state this...... but i am not sure sorry) Additionally, we can learn many important skills by being a leader. We can develop how to (wrong) organize and plan. ---> we can learn how to organize( organize what???) a plan???
For example, I had the(->an) opportunity to be a leader of my school's band. We had to perform in the school's festival and we didn’t(did not) have enough time to practice. Moreover, we had to study for the midterm exam and every teammate had its own schedule. It gave me a headache to organize practice time which had to fit perfectly in everyone's schedule) and (i think you like to use ALSO but don;t) to prepare for the midterm exam. At that time, I was very perplexed(ummm i not sure about this) and frustrated but had no other way. But (--->Despite all the difficulties, I successfully led the band, managing time efficiently. We performed wonderfully at the festival and I did well on the midferm exam.
I(not only you but all the members!) successfully perform(wrong tense) in the school festival and also did well on the midterm exam by planning time effectively.
It was a good lesson for me. Now I’m(am) not easily frustrated at busy schedule because of that experience. Therefore, it is a good idea to become a leader.( you don't need this...) In summary, I agree with the idea that being a leader is better than being a follower. Because it gives chance to be a more mature person and it helps people to develop such skills. It’s a pity to give way those great advantages because of mere pressure to be a leader.(what??? give up you mean?? i don't understand)
GOOD! tiny errors but still good 3.5 or 4 out of 5 |