When it comes to the question, ‘Why are groups or organizations important to people?’ I would like to cite two reasons for that: it can improve social skills and broaden one’s outlook on life. These reasons are why groups or organizations are significant to all human to live.
1) it can improve -> they(=groups or organizations) can improve
2) social skills 보다는 socializing skills 가 어떨까요?
To begin with, it can develop social skills particularly communication skills. This is especially true when communication skills are key to living life. Living a group life, people will get to know how to interact with others and learn to reduce the conflict with others. Suppose that you are member of your high school newspaper. In the process, you will need to keep discuss with your school bulletin when you cover and write an article. Moreover, when you are not familiar with communicating with others, you will learn how to speak out your opinion and listen to others from those discussions. Therefore, it is worth promoting your social abilities.
1) it can develop -> they can develop
2) skills particularly -> skills, particularly
3) ...key to living life -> 무슨 뜻인지...?
4) a group life -> 이거 말 되나요??
5) get to know -> 상당히 informal 한 느낌인데...formal한 글에서 get은 좀 자제하시는 것이 어떠할지요..?
6) you are member of -> you are a member of
7) a member of your high school newspaper -> 무슨 뜻이죠? 혹시 newspaper editing group 이라든가 뭐..그런걸 의미하시려는..?
8) need to keep discuss -> need to keep discussing
9) with your school bulletin when you cover and write.. -> with your school bulletin about when you cover and write..
10) Therefore, it is worth promoting your social abilities -> Therefore, it is worth promoting your social abilities, and these abilities can be achieved from groups and organizations.
What is more, people can widen their view by participating in groups or organizations. This is possible because while meeting each person has different interest, social standing and the standard of living, it can experience different things from them. Moreover, it helps to broaden one’s outlook on life. Here is what I have seen myself. Last year at my college I joined a movie club with 10 members. There were many students who majoring in different fields such as, economics, history, biology and arts. Our members could exchange the information and ideas at the club so I could get the knowledge about things which I was not familiar with. Also, the information was very interesting and useful to me. Given this, groups or organizations can broaden people’s outlook on life.
1) while meeting each person has different interest -> while meeting another person who has different interest
2) it can experience different things -> people can experience different things
3) many students who majoring -> many students majoring 혹은 many students who majored
4) such as, economics... -> such as economics...
5) exchange the information -> exchange the information about their majors
6) so I could get the knowledge -> and so I could gain the knowledge
To sum up, my bet is that groups or organizations are important to people because it helps to develop social skills especially communication skills and broaden one’s outlook on life. ‘No man is an island’, goes a saying. People are there for each other.
1) it helps -> they help
2) skills especially -> skills, especially