▶ Your Answer : It is always difficult to fathom what others think, but my opinion in regard to the given topic is adamant. I believe that university professors should focus on educating students rather than researching for the following reasons. for the following two subsequent reasons.
Above all, university professors should focus on educating students rather than researching so that students can aquire an outcompeting advantage over dther candidates in a job market To begin with, teacher's role is to provide adequate knowledge to students to stand out in the job market. Students today face fierce competitions in a job market since there are so many candidates with not so many jobs available to enter the job. Consequently, it has become extremely difficult to find suitable and rewarding jobs. Therefore, in order to become desirable applicants and find success in their future career, students should become competent by learning as much as they can, including taught by professors. Research conducted by a renown journalist named Jim Morrison indicates that students who learned a lot from their university professors are more likely to find success in a job market while same accomplishments are somewhat difficult to students who do not. Likewise, his research shows that my assertion is conceiving. become more successful in getting a good qualified jobs
Secondly, (따라서 두 번째 이유는 무엇을 말하려고 했던것인가요?) To illustrate this point, let me explain my own story (지금 이 부분은 너무 구어체 입니다). When I was 20, I attended a class about economics. At the class, the professor gave a lot of tasks and asked us to solve our own. So at the every class when we submit assignment, professor confirmed and gave us a detailed feedback. It was very difficult for me at first but as time goes by, thanks to professor's feedback my ability advanced and I found interest and appitude in economics. And at the end of the semester, I decided to start a double major economic and now I take economic classes very happily. If it was not for the professor's enthusiasm, I could not found my potentials because until attend that class I thought that I don't have any talent about economics find my hidden potential. As my story shows, it is important to university professors to focus on educating students because it helps students co cultivate their potentials.
점수: 21 일단 결론이 없습니다. 독립형 에세이에서 결론이 하는 역핳은 에세이를 마무리 하는 역할을 가지고 있기 때문에 꼭 결론을 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 두 번째 단락 같은 경우는 너무 구어체 일 뿐 만 아니라 이유 자체가 나오지 않습니다. 이유가 무엇인지를 설명해 주시길 바랍니다.마지막으로는 어색한 표현들이 많습니다. 제가 지적한 부분을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |