▶ Your Answer :. There has been a debate in recent time concerning with whether teachers' earnings should be based on their students' performance. In my opinion, I truly agree with the following statement with my two reasonable opinions. To begin with, I think if teachers' earnings are based on students' performance, they would try to do their best for their students, and this situation can make the better educational environment. According to my little brother, Josh, always says that teachers do not try their best to educate for their students in his school because they can get money even though they do not work hard, and he thinks if people change the school's system into the new one system that gives money based on students' scores to teachers, teachers or people working in school edcuational jobs would try to teach hard for their earnings, and this situation would also make more effective educational environment for lots of students as well , too. Likewise, if teachers get money based on their students' scores or performance, most of them would try to make better educational system. On top of that, I believe that teachers should get earnings based on students' performance because the results of that performance is entirely based on teachers' educational attitude. According to my friend, Brown, said that some teachers always try to focus on his or her educational ways(What is it?)of making students more creative, and they always result in making students' great performance. Whereas, teachers with having the bad attitude always result in making student's poor performance. (What does "bad attitude" indicate?) In addition, according to the professors from Stanford University, they maintain that ninety-eight percentages of students in several kinds of public school can be are mainly affected by teachers' educational attitude. So, it sounds plausible to say that teachers' educational passion and attitude can affect students, and this is the reason why teachers should get their earnings based on students' performance. Finally, taking all of these reasons into the account, I already have arrived at the rational conclusion that teachers should get their earnings based on their students' scores or performance. It does not mean I completely ignore the demerits of it, but I think the merits are greatly effective to cover its demerits with my opinions. So, I want to say that teachers' earnings should be based on their students' performance.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3
| 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-18 | - in recent time --> recently, of late등이 더 자연스럽게 많이 쓰입니다.
- following --> 은 그 다음에/따라오는~ 이라는 뜻이 있어 주제를 언급하는 문장으로 사용하기 어색한 문장입니다. - try to do best 와 educational environment라는 이어지는 문장이 결국 같은 이야기이므로 한문장으로 요약해주시는 것이 좋습니다. - get money 보다는 earn money/salary등이 적절합니다.
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