▶ Your Answer : There might be some people who believe that it is advantageous for students to study with the Internet. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, students cannot distinguish the crucial information from the information that they do not need for studying. To be specific, since the Internet provides them with too much knowledge they can not choose easily which information is necessary. It would take more time to use the Internet to study than to learn with textbooks. A study was conducted by the Seoul National University in 2000 to determine whether the Internet could be efficient for writing academic essay when writing the academic essay. There were two groups monitored. The first group was formed of 100 students, who were asked to write a essay with the opportunities to use the Internet. essay using internet The other group consisted of 100 students, and they were asked to only use textbooks. The researchers compared the outcomes and reported that the latter submitted their assignments in time while the former could not. The reason why the former could not submit assignments timely was it took much time to select information that was necessary for the essay. Since there were a lot of information related with the theme, it was difficult to pick ones for their writing. This study demonstrates that the Internet gives students so much information, which make finding essential information difficult.
On top of that, the information from the Internet can not ensure their accuracy. Since is is free for everyone to upload information on the Internet, there could be inaccurate information on it. Thus, students should identify the accuracy of the information from the Internet. For example, I will talk about my experience to illustrate this point. When I was in high school, I was assigned an essay about a certain politician's achievement. I tried to get resources about it by using the Internet. I could find amounts of documents about feats that he had done. I wrote the essay based upon all the information that I earned from the Internet without investigating whether they were false or not. Consequently, I had low grade since there were full of false information. The contents that I got were proved false historically, which someone who had uploaded on the Internet believe it true. Though this experience, I learned that people should distinguish true information from wrong one.
To sum up, the Internet provides students too much information, and they are even inaccurate. In this regard, I firmly believe that students can not study better by using the Internet.
점수: 22 두 가지 부분에 있어서 오류가 있습니다. 먼저 첫 번째는 예시에 대한 부분에 있어서 너무 장황하게 에세이를 서술하였습니다. 지금 이 에세이는 오히려 좀 더 간결하게 본인의 주장을 설명하는 것이 더 좋은 점수를 받는데에 있어서 더 효과적입니다. 두 번째는 첫 번째나 두 번째 이유 모두 겹칩니다. 똑같은 이유에 대해서 전혀 다르게 설명하고 있습니다. 따라서 전혀 다른 이유들을 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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