▶ Your Answer :
The
written messages are the first invention made by human to transfer their knowledge to the others. However, as the technologies have been evolved with
variety methods to explicit the author’s points, such as movies, people in
these days are able to enjoy can enjoy those contents in more pleasure manner. In this regard,
I disagree with the idea that reading fiction is more enjoyable than watching
movies. for the following two subsequent reasons.
To
begin with, movies are more suitable to draw audiences’ attention than books. Most
people easily get bored when they confront the contents that are not really
important or trivial. with trivial contents. However, there are some ways for movies to overcome this obstruction
which the books cannot surmount. The time that I went to movie theater to watch
a movie with my friends is the example of this. Even though some of the most renowned
actors took part in the work, it was improbable for me to fully concentrate on
the movie. However, when I saw a humorous scene that the actors are having
jokes with each other, it was so memorable that I got immersed in it again,
which was a movie director’s intention to resolve the tedious term.
On
top of that, it is possible for people to grasp the author’s points easily when
they access to the movies. There is a numerous means for movies to propagate
the meanings more effectively with visual and sound effects to indicate the
atmosphere of scenes or to make people emphasize with the actor more deeply
whereas the books are comprised of only written sentences, which sometimes make
reader confused. To be specific, I am so interested in Marvel’s story that I
have experienced both its books and movies. The noticeable advantages to watch in watching movies were, for example, that I could visualize the space, in which the
characters are shown and that I could sympathize with the characters’ emotion,
which was helpful to grab the plot.
To
sum up, movies have more advantages to make people focus on its work and the
audiences are able to comprehend its context more conveniently than those written
messages. In this regard, I strongly believe that it is more reasonable for
people to watch movies rather than books.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이에서 가지고 있는 문제점은 너무나 which 절과 that절을 남발합니다. 필요없는 부분이 있는데도 불구하고 계속 서술하셔서 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겟습니다. 따라서 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 이러한 불필요한 부분들을 재외하면서 좀 더 간결한 에세이를 서술하면 좋은 에세이가 될 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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