People today pay too much attention to the personal lives of celebrities. | ||
Red- I fixed Blue-just weird(konglish) sentence structure
Today, many tabloids cover celebrities life. Celebrities are exposed to the public. People waste a great amount of their time watching celebrities' lives because most media focus on this. I think that this is related to the mass media company's way of seeking their profit and the Internet stimulates viewers to pay much attention to celebrities.
First, many TV programs and newspapers report celebrities' lives(pl). They pretend to be unbiased and accurate. However, I see the distortions in their coverage and reporting. They often exaggerate their lives Media companies attempt to make stories look more colorful(it's a positive word... how about interesting) and dramatic. As a result, the media provides sensationalized information that catches people's attention to accomplish these aims. For example, One broadcasting station in Korea had to apologize to viewers for its exaggerated report on one famous celebrity. The celebrity filed lawsuit against the station because of the company's exorbitant attention toward her.
I could do no more. 1. pay attention to use of articles 2. Sg and Pl problems. 3. organization.... 4. repetitive... ummm that's all i can say for now |
제가 지금까지 시험 많이 봤는데 항상 라이팅 20~21을 못벗어나고 있어요ㅠ
문제가 뭘까요??ㅠㅠ