말그대로 저는 외고 졸업 후 오랜 기간이 지난 시점에서
토플점수가 100점이 필요한데..저 혼자 공부다하 보니까
도저히 제가 잘하고 있는지 알 수 있는 방법이 없어서 거의 마지막일듯 한데요
외고 준비하는 영어잘하는 특기생 후배님들 첨삭 좀 해주세요..; 모두들 건승하시고..
무플은 안되요.. ㅜㅜ
The best way to relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.( Agree or Disagree?) |
- I believe you tend to start with ' there are many ongoing debate' However, in this case, you cannot begin your first sentence with it. Therefore, - why don't you start with a question: What is really the most effective method to have a rest and to abate stress? There are many ongoing debate on how to take a rest and relieve a stress. Many people believe that spending time alone is the best way for relieving stress -(not a good rationale) - because it is essential for everybody to have their own private time. On the other hand, some people emphasize the idea for doing some activities with others is better to relieve stress and relax. Both opinions make sense, however, my opinion is that spending time with other people is better (to be specific, more efficient) due to two reasons.
First, it is crucial for every people to have a in-depth relationship with others because it is a natural instinct for every animal. For example, some scientists conducted an experiment with rats and estimated(recorded) their stress level. And then the experiment revealed that a rat which was isolated in a cage had a high level of stress-related hormons compared to rats raised in groups. In this manner, a deprivation of fellow is a stress-causing factor for animals and human beings are not extempt.
Second, people can not relieve their stress without having some activities with other people. The spirit of cooperation is easily obtained by playing sports, playing games and cooporation provides a comfort which can be an important factor in abating stress. For instance, I usually play basket ball with my friends when I have free time and it helps me to relieve my stress. On the other hand, when I play basketball alone, it is hard for me to feel that I am relaxed because of lack of cooperation. Likewise, having relationship with others is important for folks to relieve their stress.
To sum up, I strongly disagree with the idea that spending time alone is an appropriate method for relaxation and abation of stress. The reason for this idea is that doing activities with other people is necessary to relieve stress and it is all animals'(why don't you use living things') common instinct so as to feel at home when they are with others. |