▶ Your Answer :
Company should follow the best way to earn more money. In this aspect, the arts is one of the important things. But If a company has to decide choice between the arts and protecting the environment, it must decide (What?) to protect environment. So I disagree with the idea that a company should invest in supporting the arts.
First, this choice is directly related to our survive. (Clarify the meaning) Nowadays, global warming and bad air condition are serious problems. People have to make an effort to overcome this situation or the earth is finally destroyed. Company can affect effect to their employees, consumers, etc. It means a corporation has heavier responsibility than one person. So its decision about making better place to live leads to people's attention to environment. (What does it mean? Awkward sentence)
Second, a company gets economic benefit. (This is not a topic sentence) It has to pay for supporting the arts in many ways such as hiring artists, paying for materials. But if it invests in environment, company can reduce its costs by preserving environment. Suppose one company makes principle which is about using less electric energy. Of course it is for reducing energy consumption, but it naturally causes lower electric fee. Also, a eco-friendly company can get support by government.
Third, one firm gets a good image through eco movement. (Through what?) Image of company is important to their profits and consumers prefer ethical firm. Think about one car company joins in planting trees movement. It makes impression that this company concerned about environment and people have more trust to it. Additionally, a positive image is the key element for long-run company.
Environment is essential things in our life. We already have used it bad way. Now many people especially company try to change. And it also economically beneficial to company. So I disagree with a company should invest in supporting the arts rather than in protecting the environment
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 1 | Score | Limited 10-17 | - Topic sentence에서는 글의 의미를 함축하거나, 사실혹은 추정에 의한 내용을 전달하는 자리가 아닌 자신의 주장을 올곧이 밝히는 부분입니다.
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