It is debatable whether automobiles have improved modern life. This is interesting question because opinions of this question can be different relying depending on people's perspectives. However, as far as I am concerned I think that automobiles have improved modern life because of following reasons for the following two subsequent reasons. .
First of all, automobiles have improved modern life by helping us using our time more wisely saved human's general time. Since we are living in modern society, we are living on hectic schedule. So wise time consuming is important matter for us. However, with automobile, we can dealing with our busy scedule by arriving company or university more faster deal with our busy schedule by arriving company faster. For example when I was working for internship in Seoul, company was so far from my hometown so I was always tired of commute. And because of commute time Thanks to commuting time, I could not sleep enough and even I could not eat breakfast. However, after I bought car, I could save my time more than 2 hours. I could sleep more and eat breakfast. Even I could do exercise every morning. In conclusion, my exprience shows that automobiles can improve modern life by helping wise time consuming.
In addition, automobile help helps (automobile은 단수 주어 입니다) us improve our relationship. After graduating high school or having a job, usually people move to another city alone. So it is hard to keeping in touch with their friends or family often It is hard to keep in touch with other people. However with automobile, it is more convenient to traveling long distance travel long distance. They can just drive to their hometown more faster and easily, whenever they want. According to research center SB, renowned research center in Korea, people who had automobiles met their family more often then those who did not. Research also proved that usually people who met family more often showed higher degree of intimate with their family than who did not. intimacy This research shows that automobile improve modern life by improving our relationship.
점수: 22 일단 결론은 어디있나요? 독립형 에세이에서는 결론이 필요 합니다. 결론이 전반적으로 하는 역할은 에세이를 마무리하는 역할을 하기 때문에 꼭 에세이를 서술할 때 마무리를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 지금 이 에세이는 어색한 표현과 문법적으로 맞지 않는 표현들이 많습니다. 따라서 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |