■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : technology has made our children less creative than in the past. |
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It is an intriguing question because opinions regarding this topic can be different relying on the individual perspectives. Some people believe that technology has made our children less creative than in the past. However, in my opinion, I disagree with the statement that technology has made our children less creative than in the past. (찬반이 바뀌어 있습니다.) This is because children can broaden (broaden 자체가 동사로서 쓰입니다) their perspective through technology and they can be creative without limitation by technology. First of all, technology can broaden children's perspectives, which allows children to expose to various experience that they have not ever underwent. To be specific, children can learn different cultures and lifestyles through the technology such as Internet and television. This allows as a result children to be able to understand contemporary society and have opened-mind, which is helpful for children to be creative than in the past. For example, Steve Jobs, the founder of the company Apple, had a great accomplishment during his life. He had become very creative by exposing to a variety of cultures through Internet. Therefore, it is legitimate to say various experience through technology can make our children more creative than in the past. On the top of that, children can think without no limitation by technology. To be specific, in the past, children thought anything creative in limitation that technology cannot realize because at that time, technology was (시제) not developed as current technology. However, today's technology is so developed dramatically that children can think more creatively rather by using and adjusting new technology such as VR. For example, Eric, who is my son, experienced VR video games and he thinks more broadly even not only in reality but also in virtual reality. It is not considerable to think about virtual reality in the past. All things considered, technology has made our children more creative than in the past. By broadening children's perspectives and no limitation, children can think more creatively in comparison to the past. It is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been delivered with the reasons mentioned above.
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1. 문장과 문장 사이에 스페이스 바 치지 말아주세요.
2. 문단을 정확하게 나눠주세요. (에세이는 단순한 줄글이 아닙니다.)
3. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
4. 첫 번째와 두 번째 이유가 그냥 똑같다고 느껴집니다.
결국엔 시야가 넓혀지는 것이 창의성과 동일하다고 여겨지니까요.
조금 더 차별화 된 이유를 찾으시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*