▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that to have a job where they work five days a week for shorter hours while others think differently. In my opinion, I personally believe that it is more enjoyable to have a job where I work for (전치사) only three days a week for long hours following two reasons: I can travel abroad more often and relieve stress.
To begin with, it can provide me more opportunities to travel to many kinds of different countries than the other option, (이어주세요) because traveling abroad needs a lot of subsequent holidays. So although I should work harder for finishing my works, it gives me more free time. Also, traveling abroad helps me to broaden my world's views. In other words, it makes me understand diverse cultures, lifestyles and, perspectives better. For example, when I worked as a city tourist, I worked only three days a week and had four holidays a week including weekends. So, I could travel to various other countries during holidays and meet people who have various political and social ideas and opinions. The people could dramatically open my eyes to new aspects of life.
On top of that, working for only three days a week makes me relieve stress and feel refreshed. To be specific, it enables me to be provided a mental and physical break for a long time after working laboriously. Thus, I can maintain health, and (연결어 꼭 써주세요) build a quality life effectively. For instance, a (대소문자 구분) study was conducted by the University of Texas. There were two groups. The first group was asked to work only for three days a week. The second group was formed of people who work five days a week. The researchers compared their stress levels. There was a great deal of difference among the participants. The first group had a much low-stress level than the second group and suffered from almost half of the stress that the second group got. (설명하실 때 day 수 말고 시간을 언급해주시면 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 지금 이유는 다 좋지만, 시간의 차이가 설명이 안 되어 있어서 단순히 3일 일하는 것과 5일 일하는 것의 비교처럼 보입니다. 3일을 오래 일하거나 5일을 짧게 근무하는 것이라고 명시해주세요.)
To sum up, working only for three days is more enjoyable because it makes me have more chances to go on a trip and relieve stress more efficiently. As a result, its (it's => it is, its = it의 소유격) advantages far outweigh the other option's merits for the reasons that I have mentioned above.
conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요. work 뒤에 시간이 나올 때는 꼭 for이라는 전치사를 붙여주셔야 합니다. 수고하셨습니다. *^^* |