Some people think that the Internet is a less effective way to study. However, in my opinion, students who are helped by the internet have more the effective method. The reasons are that they can search for the information more quickly and study in their home through online courses.
To begin with, students can find information what they want rapidly. In the past, to find the information people went to the library. However, in these days, people can search the information like expertise knowledge in their home. For example, I will give my story. I had to write a report about the history of Korea. I spent just 10 minutes on finding related these materials through the Internet even though I did not spend needed a lot of dates. It was a really short time. If the Internet does not exist nowadays, I shoud have invested an amount of time to find it these. Thus the Internet helps people not to spend many much times getting the information.
On top of that, students obtain knowledge through the online lecture. Many academic centers provide a bunch of online lectures. Students can access these materials easily. Also, these lectures give a high quality and other services like Q&A session. (이러한 Q&A와 관련된 부분을 잘 제시하셨습니다. 이것을 더 개진해나가서 예시로 풀면 굳이 통계와 같은 빈약한 예시를 제시하지 않아도 굉장히 좋은 글이 될 수도 있습니다^^) For instance, there was a poll conducted by the Department of Education with 200 as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus view of/on about online courses. The majority of respondents ranked online courses over the academy. An overwhelming 77% had responded that online courses are more efficient. This is because they do not have to go to the academy and use services that ask the question through the Internet. This survey proves that people have a positive view of listening to the online lecture.
To sum up, it is possible to get the information like highly complicate ideas faster through the Internet and the Internet makes people listen to the lecture in their home, so they do not visit the academy. I firmly believed that the Internet is a more efficient method to study.
Expression | Weak | Limited | Fair | Good | ||
Grammar(문법) | 글을 문법에 맞게 썼는지를 판단합니다. | O | 1 | |||
Word Choice(어휘선택) | 상황에 맞는 정확한 단어가 구사되었는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Syntactic Variety(표현의 다양성) | 같은 표현을 반복하지 않고, 다양한 어휘를 구사했는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Idiomaticity (관용표현 활용) | 사전적 의미를 담고 있는 단어들 이외의 표현들을 썼는지를 판단합니다. | O | 1 | |||
Sentence Structure (문장구조) | 효율적 표현을 위해 안정된 구조의 문장을 구사했는지를 판단합니다. | O | 1 | |||
Flow(문맥의 흐름) | 문장들간의 비약이 심하거나 처짐 또는 반복이 없는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Content | Weak | Limited | Fair | Good | ||
Explanation(설명) | Thesis나 topic sentences같은 main idea들을 얼마나 이해하기 쉽게 썼는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Exemplification (예시) | Topic sentences와 관련된 example을 얼마나 설득력있게 풀어냈는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Coherence(일관성) | 글이 주제에 맞게 전개됐는지, main idea들간의 연결이 잘 되었는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Overall Organization (전반적 구성) | 서론, 본론, 결론 등 글 전체의 구조와 main idea들이 잘 어우러져 있는지를 판단합니다. | O | 2 | |||
Overall | 17 | |||||
comments: 기본적인 문법 실수가 많기 때문에 이부분부터 보완하시면 좋을것 같습니다^^ 고생하셨습니다^ㅇ^ |