In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details. |
In some countries, teenagers have a job while they are still students. It has been controversial issue whether it is good for teenagers to have a job. Some people may insist that teenagers should not hold jobs in terms of education. (Saying that "Teenagers don't have a jobs while they are still students") As far as I'm concerned, however, I believe that it is more desirable for teenagers to hold a job for the following two reasons: Not only they can develop social skill but also they have wide-perspective. First of all, holding jobs would make it possible for teenagers to develop social skill. To put it again, if they hold a job they can raise social skill. In most case and generally, most people need to have social skill in order to live a successful life in this competitive society. To take one of my cousins Jennifer as an example, she has changed into person with cooperation after working at the family restaurant-"Pizza Hut"- for two years when she was a high school student. Had it not been for working at restaurant, she could not have cooperation. In this sense, there is no doubt that having a job is greatly advantageous in terms of develop social skill. In addition, if teenagers have jobs, this would be more helpful in widening perspective than otherwise be possible. In other words, holding jobs could provide them with more chances to broaden perspective, which is an important factor to survive this modern society. According to a recent survey conducted by "British Education Research Institute", compare with the teenagers in high school students who do not hold jobs, those who have jobs showed 19.9% high score in the open mind test, other conditions being equal. In fact, it is not difficult to hear or see the similar cases around us. Like this, it is needless to say that holding a job helps teenagers widening perspective. All things considered, although it is not black-or-white issue whether teenagers have a job, I strongly side with the opinion that it is good for teenagers to have a job. That's because by having jobs, teenagers develop their social skill and have wide-perspective. These merits seem to make more and more teenager students try to have jobs.
CM) In some countries, teenagers have a job while they are still students. It has been controversial issue whether it is good for teenagers to have a job. Some people may insist that teenagers should not hold jobs in terms of education. As far as I'm concerned, however, I believe that it is more desirable for teenagers to hold a job. Now then I shall discuss the advantage and disadvantage of that issue. On the one hand, I'm sure that teenager students have a lot of advantages by holding jobs. First of all, holding jobs would make it possible for teenagers to develop social skill. To put it again, if they hold a job they can raise social skill. In most case and generally, most people need to have social skill in order to live a successful life in this competitive society. In addition, if teenagers have jobs, this would be more helpful in widening perspective than otherwise be possible. According to a recent survey conducted by "British Education Research Institute", compare with the teenagers in high school students who do not hold jobs, those who have jobs showed 19.9% high score in the open mind test, other conditions being equal. In fact, it is not difficult to hear or see the similar cases around us. On the other hand, I'm guess that teenager students have some disadvantages by holding jobs. To begin with, holding jobs would make it possible for teenagers to inter fare with study. To put it again, if they hold a job they should not concentrate their study. In most case and generally, students need to have concentration in order to study hard in school. Furthermore, if teenagers have jobs, this would be worse their health To take one of my cousins Jennifer as an example, she was hurt hers leg by hot water of machine while working at the family restaurant-"Pizza Hut"- for two years ago when she was a high school student. Had it not been for working at restaurant, she couldn't injure hers leg. All things considered, although it is not black-or-white issue whether teenagers have jobs, I strongly side with the opinion that it is good for teenagers to have jobs. That's because by having jobs, a lot of advantages overweigh some disadvantages. These merits seem to make more and more teenager students try to have jobs. |
두가지 방식으로 한 주제를 써봤는데, 어느 글이 더 낳을까요? 그리고 문법 같은 건 좀 괜찮은 편인가요? 첨삭을 받을 곳이 없어서 이렇게 글을 올려봅니다. 라이팅 잘 하시는 해커스의 많은 고수 분들 조언 좀 부탁드립니다. ^^