<친구와 우정이 나빠지더라도 실수했을 때 충고를 해야한다?> |
A few months ago, one of my friends who quarreled with his sister because of her mistake was frustrated because of the distant relationship after giving her advice. He told me that if I am in such situation, I must not give someone who makes a mistake any advice. However, I disagree with his opinion, for the following reasons. First of all, he(or she) can bring about mistake he always did unless those around him tells him the advice for him to do better than before. For example, I have friend who is very close to me and always makes mistakes. One day, he jokingly swore at me but it make me mad. Even though I knew if I gave him some advice it will make him disappointed in me, I strongly told him not to do it again. From that time on, he has not shown the behavior again. Therefore, I agree that giving advice to someone who makes a mistake enables him to not make the mistake any more. Second reason for my opinion is that I can get a closer relationship with a friend who makes a mistake, not destroy the friendship. This is what happened when I was in university. One of my friends always makes a mistake but I did not showed him discontent because I was concerned that it makes our friendship uncomfortable. However, a few days later, I courageously told him about his mistake, which, in turn, lead to a closer relationship with him because he appreciated my help. In this example, I am convinced that if one gives advice to another who makes a mistake, one can get a closer relationship with each other because it means the friend truly cares about him. Therefore, doing something which could have destroyed the friendship is even better than overlooking a friend who make a mistake. What I mean is that this is because of repetitive problems related to previous mistakes and the closer relationship after advice.
A few months ago, one of my friends who quarreled with his sister because of her mistake was frustrated by the following distant relationship with her. He told me that if I was in such a situation, I had not to give any advice. However, I disagree with his opinion for the following reasons. First of all, he or she can make the same mistakes again unless people around him tell him the advice for him to do better than before. For example, I have a friend who always makes inappropriate jokes that can hurt someone. One day, he jokingly told some offending words to me. Even though he did have a real bad intention to insult me, it made me angry and I disappointed with him. In spite of the possibility that if I gave him some advices it would make him discouraged, I frankly told him not to do it again because those words could make you alienated from other people. From that time on, he has tried not to make the same mistakes and has not shown the behavior again. Therefore, I agree with the opinion that giving advice to someone who makes a mistake enables him to not make the mistake any more. Second reason for my opinion is that frankly giving an advice helps us have a closer relationship with a friend, not destroying the friendship. This is what happened when I was in university. One of my friends always makes a mistake but I did not show him my dissatisfaction because I worried that it made our friendship uncomfortable. However, a few days later, I told him his mistake and my sincere advice leaded a more solid relationship than before. Through this experience, I have become convinced that if one gives honest advices about another’s mistake, they can build up closer relationship with each other because those counsels show warm attention and true interest in the friendship. For this reason, doing something that can destroy the friendship is not giving advices but overlooking the fault of a friend.
내용은 좋은데, 관사나 시제가 많이 안 맞고, 절이나 별도의 문장으로 풀어써야 될 얘기가 구나 한 단어로 처리되서 내용이 애매해 지는거 같습니다. 특히 예시 부분은 좀 더 이해하기 쉽게 풀어서 써 주는게 좋을 거 같습니다. 부족하나마 수정해서 다시 써보니...참고하세요. |