The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information. |
These days, people pay attention to the news media due to(due to 다음에는 명사구가 와야함 그러므로 due to the fact that it is~ 이렇게 하는게 오히려 낫음.) it is interesting to them. People usually consider it as a trustworthy source, which has no bias. However, I disagree with this idea because colunmists and writers have different point of views for certain subject. Also, news often make up or overstate the events.
First of all, each people has different perspective toward the particular topic. Although writers should deliver only the fact, it is inevitable (for them) to write with emotions. They write mainly about what they want, and what they think about the topic. Thus, most articles possibly are prejudice. For example, I saw an article about Negro. It was the news about commiting crime by several Negros. When I read it, the voice and diction of writer showed that he strongly believed with what had happen. It render(ed) me to feel like this colunmer(->columnist) discriminates(->discriminated) black people. With these sort of articles, people (are) readily affect(ed) by the subject of discrimination or bias. -> 솔직히 문장의 감이 잘 안와요.. 뭔가 문법적이나 표현상으로 깔끔하지 못한거 같아요. 제가 원어민이 아니라서 뭐라 딱 말씀드리기 힘들지만...죄송;;
Writers create story and exaggerate the events by(-> with) their suspicions. To grab attention from readers, exaggeration is used to bestows(s빼고) them enormous surprises. Also, they sometimes put the untrue statements for better payments. When I see Japanese newspaper, there are many articles about scandel(scandal) of famous actors, actresses, and singers. By taking snap shots of them talking in the cafe, they make a big deal, such as they are going out. As many Japanese people are interest(ed) and easily influenced in(-> by or from) these kind of article, there are various of overstating(overstated) scandels(scandals) everyday. Subsequently, those articles spoil as the time passes because it is not true. The fact that people often believe can not be reliable because they are dishonest.
In conclusion, people observe things from different perspectives, so writing can be bias(ed). Also, the purpose of their payment causes colunmists to create articles about untrue facts. I strongly believe the media is not reliable source, which often mislead to astray. Thus, it is best to not trust( not to trust) everything that people heard from the media because it can be(빼고) easily influence people in negative ways.
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-> 제가 뭐라 할 실력이 안되지만..
제 생각에는...음.. 단어 쓰임같은게 자주 반복되는게 보이구요.
그리고 문법의 문제인지 표현의 문제인지는 모르겠지만... 문장이 깔끔하다는 느낌이 안듭니다;;; 아...제 독해 실력이 딸려서 그런거 일수도 있지만 암튼 저의 경우는 읽으면서 머리에 의미가 팍팍 꽂히지는 않았어요..
토플 공부하시면서 동의어 공부도 많이 하실텐데 그런거 적극활용하시구요.
그리고 좀더 문장을 깔끔하고 하고 싶은 말만 딱! 전달할 수 있도록 구성하시면 더 발전하지 않을까 싶습니다.
허접하지만 첨삭해봤습니다.ㅎㅎ 저는 늦은 점심을 먹으러 가야겠네요.^^