■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
|
|
|
▶ Topic : Some people like to keep records or experience by expos ing photos on social networking sites. Others do not like to upload such records. Which do you prefer? |
|
|
▶ Your Answer : It is always difficult to fathom what others think, but my opinion in regard to the given topic is adamant. I believe that keeping records or experience by exposing photos on social medias is a better option than later for the following reasons.
First of all, unloading photos on social networking sites is more beneficial because people can form strong emotional bonds with family members or friends. Superficially, the centralization, or the urbanization of cities seems to have put people closer today than (비교급) in the past. Nevertheless, the high pace of modern life and great stress or work virtually have separated people further apart from one another. As a result, the traditional notion of friendship or family has been blurred. Fortunately, however, people can restore the values of friendship or family life by sharing photos on social media in their spare time. According to a recent study conducted by a world-top tier university, when given choices of keeping records by exposing photos on social media and keeping records without uploading or sharing photo with other people, the majority of people willingly chose the former option and they also readily admitted that the advantages of the former option far outweigh those of the latter one. Likewise, this result indicates my argument is persuasive.
In addition, people can find emotional relief by sharing their records with other people on social medias because it is effective for boosting people's mood. Today many people are weary with too much stress. By exposing their photos or records, however, they can temporarily forget about their problems and gain some breathing space. In this respect, keeping experience by uploading these records can be a great means of refreshing people's mind. My personal experience can be illustrated to prove this point. Every morning, I have to get through traffic congestion to go to work and read countless texts. To make matters worse, I get exhausted coping with other people. Hence as a way to let go of my stress, I frequently maintain and update my social media by uploading some photos and writings (어떤 글과 사진인지 설명해주시면 더 좋을 거 같습니다.). Even if it is only for a short period of time, my feelings become relaxed, and I can escape from the demanding requests from work. Indeed, during this period of enjoyment, I am able to alleviate tension and better prepare myself for upcoming days. (온점 꼭 찍어주세요) Therefore, I prefer to keep records by uploading photos on social medias.
To sum up, I believe my explanations above sufficiently prove the advantages of keeping records or experiences by uploading photos on social networking sites. Obviously, the significance of strong emotional bonds with family members or friends and emotional relief cannot be overemphasized enough. |
|
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 문장과 문장 사이에 스페이스바 누르지 말아주세요.
3. 동어 반복이 심합니다.
upload, photos, social medias 등이 그 예입니다.
동어 반복은 최대한 회피해주세요.
4. 문법도 깔끔하고 내용, 구조 다 좋습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*