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Technology has made life First of all, Internet allowed children to experience a lot of things that they have not encountered. Many people can insist that tons of information and knowledge discouraged people from being creative since information is conveyed with the source's view point, which made people become shortsighted. However, I think a lot of information gained through YouTube and Google etc. increased children's creativity. This is because they can have second-hand experience. Let's assume that you want to know about Japan because you have never been there before. Then you can search on YouTube and watch the video related to Japan, which allows you to know about the country more, and increase the creativity because you can second hand experience. Also, transportation technology has allowed children to travel a lot of places easily, which plays a significant role in improving creativity. What i mean is that children can have first-hand experience by traveling foreign country because of many transportation systems such as airplane, car, etc. They can see and feel amazing things easily than the past. Without this technology, children would have not seen and experienced exotic places and things easily. According to a study conducted by Seoul National University of Korea in 2005, there was a huge difference between two groups of children. Children in group A often went to other country, and children in group B did not. The researchers found that children in group A did more creative thinking than children in group B since they used to experience a lot by traveling and seeing marvelous artifact. If technology were not improved, they would not have experienced these things and creativity would not improved At the conclusion, although it is not deny the fact that technology affected people negatively in certain aspects, the achievement of technology cannot be underestimated in life. As logically and explicitly elaborated above, i firmly believe that technology has helped children raise their a sense of creativity. 문장을 쓸 때 뭐를 주어로 두고 문장을 적고 있는지 고려하면서 작성해야 합니다. 그리고 study보다는 예시를 더 많이 활용하는게 좋습니다. (study라면 이게 paragraph의 대부분을 차지하지 않도록 적어주세요) 어휘가 조금 기본적인 편입니다. 조금 더 다양하게 적을 수 있도록 해주세요 그리고 conclusion에서 앞서 나왔던 주장들 조금 더 자세하게 설명해주세요 |