▶ Your Answer :
Learning from teachers takes less (비교급이 있으면 비교 대상 역시 있어야 합니다. 여기의 경우 비교대상은 친구로부터 배우는 것이겠죠.) time and
effort. So (문장을 and but so 로 시작하지 말아주세요!) some people might thought think that learning from teachers is better.
However, In in my opinion, learning with peers is more effective for the following
two reasons.
To begin
with, children can do self-directed learning. As Through debating with peers and asking
what they didn’t know. Students , students can study more effectively. Many students in
Korea, usually don’t have do not ask (에세이에서 줄임말을 사용하지 말아주세요!) questions during class. Even though they didn’t
understand. (얘도 아까 위와 마찬가지로 비문이라 앞 문장과 합쳐주시던지 해야해요.) So if they study with peers they could ask a lot of questions in
comfortable atmosphere. As Through questioning to their peers and discussing about the
question, students can do self-studying.
On
the top of that, learning from teachers in class id is one-sided and it has low
efficiency. Many students don’t review after they take lectures. They think that thought
they know everything that the teacher said say. Because they understand what they said 여기도 비문이고요.). However,
according to one study, students who didn’t review what they learned don’t know
about 50 percent of the lecture. (이 예시도 '선생님' 과 관련을 지어서 서술해주셔야 해요.)
To sum
up, learning with peers is are more effective because students can ask freely, and
as they debate about a topic, they could study self-directly. Also learning from
teachers is one-sided and it has low efficiency. All in all, learning with
peers is better than learning from teachers.
총평: 일단 지금의 주장, 즉 '선생님에게 배우는 것보다 동료에게 배우는 게 낫다' 를 전개할 때에는 먼저 선생님에게 배우는 것에 대한 단점을 서술하고 이후 동료에게 배우는 것의 장점을 설명하는 것이 논리 전개상 훨씬 자연스럽습니다. 또한 현재 글에 비문이 많은 편이고, 주로 앞 문장과 합쳐지지가 않아서 비문이 되는 경우가 다수이므로 완전한 문장을 만들 수 있도록 신경을 써주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
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