▶ Your Answer : It is disputable what I would change if I could change one important thing about my hometown. Depending on one's background and personal experiences, one's perspective on this issue can significantly differ. That being said, in my opinion, I advocate that I should construct many large libraries in my local areas.
To begin with, underprivileged people (who are they?) have a to be ensured their right to be educated. To be specific, we should try to relieve the discrepancy of the amount of information between the rich and the poor. Those who cannot afford to purchase required books at school would be able to access to enough source of knowledge, if we I could enlarge the libraries in my neighbors.
For example, my personal experience can be used to validate the claim above. When I was young, I did not have enough money to buy materials which I needed. Additionally, the library near my house was so small that it did not provide us with sufficient books. However, after the mayor of my city decided to make the size of library bigger, I could borrow all kinds of books that I needed required. As a result, all people will be able to get information from books, if there are numerous libraries in my hometown.
Furthermore, there are not enough places to study in my city. This is due to the fact that a lot of people prefer to study in the library but the number of seats to study in the library is actually limited. Most people will feel annoyed and inconvenient, if the number of the libraries does not increase.
To take my friend's experience as an example, last for instance. Last semester, he went to the library near his home and he found that no seats were left. Thus, he could not study in the library and he had no choice but to study in the cafeteria with paying money. Consequently, everybody who wants to study in the library without spending money can have chances to study in the library if the library in my city is expanded.
In conclusion, I am highly convinced that I should build multiple enormous libraries in my neighbors for the two crucial reasons mentioned above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 17-20 | - 어려운 느낌으로 글을 쓰려고 하기보다는 쉬운 구조로 명료하게 써주시는 것이 좋습니다.
- 대체적으로 틀린 내용이 minor한 편이나, Essay에서는 personal noun이 많이 내포된 느낌이 있네요. 글을 보다 academic 하게 써주셔야 합니다.
|
|