■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :
Your school is going to improve the teaching quality of the teachers of their high school students(ages 14-18), which of the following method do you think is better 1.To choose a group of excellent teachers; the teachers will attend an additional training led by one expert and then come back to the school to give other teachers this training 2.To offer all the high school teachers the additional training in effective teaching, using online material and teachers could study individually. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, improving the teaching quality of the teachers of their high school students plays a significant role in people daily lives in many of the places where they are play or work. Some people think to choose a group of excellent teachers; the teachers will attend an additional training led by one expert and then come back to the school to give other teachers this training, while others think of offering all the high school teachers the additional training in effective teaching, using online material and teachers could study individually. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that offering all the high school teachers the additional training in effective teaching, using online so that teachers could study individually. There are several reasons as follows. (서론과 결론이 너무 깁니다. 서론 결론을 3문장 정도로 줄이시고 바디 하나를 더 만들어 주세요. topic을 그대로 다 옮겨적지 마세요. 줄일 수 있는 부분은 간략하게 유지해주세요.)
To begin with, when teachers are trained online and individually, teachers can use their time effectiveness and improve their academic skills for their students. The internet material is equipped with many functions that do work efficiently and accurately. When such functions are well used, it can bring a better result in performance. For example, my oldest brother has been an (관사) instructor in high school. He used to be an irresponsible instructor because he was lazy, selfish and passive in school. In other words, He did poorly in high school to his students. Furthermore, he usually did not attend special seminar and educational expert lecture because he was a lazy person. Actually, attending special seminar took a long time for him to get to the seminar places. However, he has changed little by little after he started using online material and the studying alone. To be specific, with online materials, he could easily access the wide range of the recent information about educational things regardless of distance and time. Also, with studying individually, he was able to save his own time because he did not have to meet other teachers and expert. He realized that the online materials helped him learn useful academic skills and complete his tasks faster as well as higher accuracy. By doing this, he was able to get active academic skills and give useful academic skills to his students. Moreover, his students could excel all throughout in high school and maintain a good behavior by raising their own grades. Without this experience, his students and he would have fallen behind in high school.
In short, I firmly believe that the advantages of offering all the high school teachers the additional training in effective teaching, using online material so that teachers could study individually far outweigh those of choosing a group of excellent teachers so that the teachers will attend an additional training led by one expert and then come back to the school to give other teachers this training for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of offering all the high school teachers the additional training in effective teaching, using online material so that teachers could study individually cannot be overestimated in life. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*