▶ Your Answer :
Some people do not think movies or television influence people’s behavior. However, I agree with it for two reasons. Because of the movies and television programs influence people’s behavior such as a person’s saying and action both for the better and for the worse side. There are several reasons and examples to support my validity.
To begin with, the movies and TV programs can change a person’s mood. For my experience, when I was watching a movie that gives advice for people’s life. At that time, I was so depressed, because I had too many things for the exams and relationship with others. I could get to recharge myself throughout the movie. My experience can prove that watching various kinds of movies and to programs can give to force recharge their life. Nowadays people need to relieve stress from work during their spare time for watching those things so, many people watch movies and programs in order to relieve their stress from work.
Secondly, most movies and TV programs deal with people’s violence action. It means those programs can warn to serious this community’s problems such as crime. Therefore, those programs can play a significant role in the notification. It can help people prevent themselves from risk.
To sum up, movies or television can help people relieve their stress. It can help notice danger in their life. Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 일단 제가 이 에세이를 읽으면서 느낀 점은 너무 에세이가 짧습니다. 짧다 보니 구체적인 설명이 많이 빈약해 보이는 에세이입니다. 좀 더 구체적인 설명이 필요 해 보입니다. 구체적인 설명이 필요한 이유는 독립형 에세이 조건에 들어가기 위함입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지 하는 것은 본인의 에세이가 상대방을 설득 할 수 있냐 입니다. 이러한 면에 있어서는 지금 이 에세이는 많이 빈약한 거 같습니다. 따라서 구체적인 설명을 통해서 에세이의 양을 늘리시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |