▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that selecting a job
which is included in different field from their parents is good because of
individual freedom that is different from job is more beneficial. However, I think it is better to get a job highly related
to parent’s job for some reasons.
First of all, they can be learned from
their parents and get advice which is really helpful through their life Students can get valuable advice from their parents. To be
specific, there are several techniques which can be obtained by doing same work
for more than many years and this is key to success in certain field that can only be learned from long period of learning. They can
access to that kind of information so easily using their parent’s experience in
this case. For example, I read a book that explaining how to make sushi.
According to book, in Japan, the culture that parent who had made sushi more
than 40 years teach the technique to the son is developed. So compared to other
countries like Korea, industry related to sushi is highly has much higher
value.
Second, there are infrastructure that
parent had prepared for their son. For instance, facilities like store or
machines to run the process or customers who liked their parent’s product can
be function as backgrounds for the initial stage. Although the successful
result in long term depends on the individual ability, these back grounds are
really powerful. For example, one of my relatives started pizza store and his
friend also started similarly. But my relative achieved much higher result
because his parent and other relatives helped him to have his own store, which
was opened by his parent 20 years ago. In addition, they recommend his shop to
others. I believe that trivial gap like these support from family can lead to
differential point in life.
To sum up, I really recommend to have jobs
related to their parent’s job because the techniques, infrastructure and
support from their family can be a great advantage to your start.
점수: 26 약간의 어색한 표현을 재외하고는 전체적으로 자신의 주장을 잘 보여주는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 각 단락의 구체적 설명과 적절한 예시 사용을 통하여서 왜 우리가 직업을 선정할 때에 부모님 직업과 같은 것을 골라야하는 지를 구체적으로 잘 설명해 주고 있는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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