▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether universities should
use their funds to support social activities or to improve food at university
cafeterias. This is an interesting question because opinions concerning this
issue can be different depending on the individual perspectives. However, in my
opinion, I think funds to be used to enhance social activities for two reasons should be used to enhance the social activities for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with,
social activities give students a chance to improve their social skill. To be
specific, university students will meet a lot of peoplea as they participate in
a club. Thus, they can be more sociable by interacting with many students. For
example, my cousin, Sarah, was a very cynical and bashful person. So she had a
difficulty of building relationship with other students having difficulties in interacting with other people. However, she was
interested in music so she joined in a music club. Therefore, she got to have an
opportunity to have relationship with students in the club. She became more and
more sociable. In conclusion, she was in a charge of a leader of the music
club.
On
top of that, students can relieve their stress. Nowadays, many students cannot
take a rest due to harsh assignments and projects. It means they do not a have
time to ease their stress. However, participating in a social activity can lead
them to fresh their mind. I will give my personal experience as an example. When
I was a freshman, a lot of tasks stole my break time. So I could not have a
time to watch any movies which was one of my favorite activities to clear my
mind. Thus, I joined in a movie club at my university so that I was able to
watch could watch a movie with a lot of mates twice a week. Therefore, I could have an
opportunity to alleviate my stress.
To
sum up, students can improve their social skill by joining in a social
activity. Moreover, students’ suppression will be reduced. In this regard, I think
university should use their fund to back up social activities.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽히 숙지가 된 상태에서 에세이를 서술하셨습니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명들을 통하여서 왜 대학이 social activities에 돈을 더 투자를 해야하는 지를 잘 설명하고 있습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |